Sadboy75 Posted November 22, 2004 Share Posted November 22, 2004 Hi All - I have posted here numerous times over the past 5 months and have not done so for the past few! My ex and I were in a wonderful r'ship which ended due to her confusion about a lot of things! Our break-up was ammicable and, at that point, we still had strong feeling for eachother! I, however, took it badly and said some awful things to the point where she said she never wanted to have anything to do with me ever again! Prior to that I was the guy she could see myself with.... so the months pass.... Just last week I had a spare ticket to a concert and suggested via email (we have not had much contact at all... we have not spoken on the phone since the break-up) that it would be good to have someone next to me... anyway, she responded a few days later that she would have love to have come with me... I was a bit taken aback by this but let it go! Last Friday night, in a state of intoxication, I sent her a text asking her out for a drink.... I awoke the next morning and sent another apologising for the gesture... she promptly responded saying it would be a good idea and that she would like to catch up for a drink.. let me know when! Now, I just want to know if anyone else out there has been through this and how you acted etc... things to say, things not to say! I am looking fwd to it as we have not spoken for so long and it would be nice to see her! The only issue I have is if my feeling re-surface.... and it may set me back! I will go ahead with it but just want to protect myself.... Think I should go for it! Also, why would she want to have a drink with me... I dont know... am just a bit nervous/baffled! Link to comment
jbutterfly2020 Posted November 22, 2004 Share Posted November 22, 2004 Well she doesn't seem to hate you so thats good. I think she is feeling just as you are. Why not set a day for this meeting up to happen? You will both be nervous but after some small talk the both of you will most likely relax. I hope it all goes as smooth as you want it to. Link to comment
Sadboy75 Posted November 22, 2004 Author Share Posted November 22, 2004 Yeah I think she finally does see it in the same way I do! We are probably both just wanting to have a civil conversation and just see how it goes... In these situations you never know what is going to happen I suppose... it may be great, it may be boring, it may be full of sparks... At the end of the day I think I'll just go in there and be happy, laid back, listen, and will not mention the past at all... Nothing more said Link to comment
sonjam Posted November 22, 2004 Share Posted November 22, 2004 Hi just be carefull with your heart, you have not had any contact with her, so you don't know if she's had new relationships or what's up in her life. Go for it, but just be CAREFULL to get your hopes up. You have been hurt enough... Link to comment
Cecelius Posted November 22, 2004 Share Posted November 22, 2004 Honestly? If she was confused in the past that is usually what young (and young in the head) people mean by admitting to themselves that they are somewhat immature and that they want additional attention from others so that their ego can develop. Unless you have reason to know otherwise, she is willing to have a drink with you because its a small amount of time for her to spend to assure herself that she still matters to you (ie, its an ego boost). She may be better than that, which is fine. I would suggest that you go, be light, be confident and be funny -- and put a move on her. You're an ex, so you have some deeper connection no matter what than any other first date. Don't make it seem like a first date and make it seem as if you are happy to be there, happy to leave, happy wherever you go. If she resists your advances (and don't be innapropriate about it -- you still have to put up your manly goods to get somewhere with her) you know where you stand. If you do get somewhere, take a few days break to let it cool off. If she was confused and needed emotional attention from someone aside from you (and that's why she broke up with you) chances are she already has someone in her life, so be prepared for a speech about how it didn't mean anything or it was a mistake, etc. Also keep in mind that rekindling an ex relationship is usually a negative idea, for a reason. Keep it light and wrap your heart in steel -- she's already shown an inability to take care of it. Link to comment
Sadboy75 Posted November 22, 2004 Author Share Posted November 22, 2004 Cecelius - you are very correct in saying she has not taken care of my heart before as she hasnt and I completely understand it! We have now arranged to meet up briefly (hour or so) in three weeks time for a quick bite/drink before she has to head off elsewhere! Actually best that way rather than dragging it out.... have no idea what to expect but will be string and brave for the time I am there! One thing I will not do is put any advances on her! No way! I simply plan on meeting up, being chirpy, not talking about us, not asking questions which may lead her to say she has a boyfriend, I will be cool and funny, I have lost 7kgs since I last saw her and look great - I will leave with my head held high and her wanting more! Simple..... what you think?! Link to comment
Sadboy75 Posted November 22, 2004 Author Share Posted November 22, 2004 Another question - would you meet up after that much time if you didnt want to? If so, why? Link to comment
Cecelius Posted November 22, 2004 Share Posted November 22, 2004 I wouldn't meet up at all unless I wanted to, but I'm simple that way. I have my theories for why she would acquiesse to seeing you even if she doesn't "want" to -- (1) why not, (2) she can get her ego pumped (3) she did have a shared history with you (4) its a long way off and very short (5) people like to please others when they can if it doesn't cost that much... There are tons of reasons why she would, and very few of them are because she has any romantic intentions. Honestly, if you're not trying to become more physical and romantic with her, why do you want to get together? Link to comment
Sadboy75 Posted November 24, 2004 Author Share Posted November 24, 2004 Update! We have made a time to meet up in 3 weeks for a bite to eat.... have made it such that I can only see her for max 1.5 hours as I need to be somewhere else later that night! Think this is the best way to do it - for her also! Make it short and sweet making them beg for more... Will let you all know how it goes! Link to comment
cassiana Posted November 26, 2004 Share Posted November 26, 2004 I think you have done exactly the right thing. Keep it light, be cool and don't let those floodgates of emotion out and I think that you could be on the road to success. Good Luck. Link to comment
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