Would this be an acceptable approach..?

[abysmal]

A girl whom I'm slightly interested in is apparently single. We've talked quite a bit about life and seem to really connect in a sense but I have no idea whether she is attracted to me.. I'm thinking about trying something new, and take the angle of asking her if she'd like to get some friends together and go out and do something as a group. I know this greatly increases the chances of getting friend-zoned, but at this point in my life, it really doesn't matter to me at all. I'm not really looking for anything physical particularly because I don't feel like I'd measure up in the looks department and I've pretty much accepted my spot in life as the friend, and I'd think I'd make a good one.

 

One- does this sound like a reasonable idea?

 

Two- is it okay for me as a male to want to be close to a girl in a platonic sense.. or is that too intrusive?

[Realitynut]

Hey....why don't ya just plain ask her out??? All she can say is NO!!! and she might say yes. Don't shoot yourself in the foot...before you even get the chance to ask her out! Go for it!

 

I'd say...does she act like she wants to talk to you. Does she try to 'get away'...does she look at you when you talk to her?" Does she back up...when you stand close.??

 

Just be super casual about it...say..hey...would you like to do 'such and such ' some day....? Go get some PIE (lol) a drink...go for a walk....catch a movie....say..hey i really want to see this movie...but hate going along...would you be interested in seeing it with me?

 

Or ...I'm hungry....want to grab a bite to eat??? My treat???

 

Hey..no pain...no gain.

[wasup]

One- does this sound like a reasonable idea?

Two- is it okay for me as a male to want to be close to a girl in a platonic sense.. or is that too intrusive?

 

I'd say yeah! Why not? Just get together, hang out and get to know her more first. I guess there's absolutely nothing wrong for a guy and a girl to be friends if you draw a clear boundary to your friendship.. I mean, firstly, you yourself have put her on the "friendzone" without you noticing it and secondly, you don't have any interest sleeping with her, then there would be no problem being just friend and be her "hang out buddy". Unless she want to be more than friends, I'm sure she would show some hints during your meetings, well then.. I'm pretty sure you would like it that way right?

[abysmal]

Thank you both, really the only thing holding me back is the doubt that she would be receptive/attracted to me.. my self-esteem is pretty low. Female acquaintances tell me that I should talk more and not have such a negative attitude, but can't really tell whether that's just something they're saying to pep me up.

 

Yeah, her fb says she's single, I have easy-going conversations with her and I guess I'd really like to spend time with her outside of where I routinely see her.. it just so happens though that she's kind of above the range of women that I usually pursue in terms of looks.. which intimidates me and brings to mind the inadequacies that I feel about myself.. I mean, she has a great personality and seems really passionate about life and that matters much, much more to me than her looks, but I guess because she's so attractive I feel I'd be better off not to ask her out directly and just be a friend.. kind of conflicted, but I certainly want to be more than an acquaintance.

 

I'll definitely ask.

[StayTrueToYou]

Looks don't always matter. People can be attracted to other people for many different reasons. You say that you guys have easy-going conversations... maybe she really appreciates that. Anyway, you'll never know if you don't try.

[abysmal]

Looks don't always matter. People can be attracted to other people for many different reasons. You say that you guys have easy-going conversations... maybe she really appreciates that. Anyway, you'll never know if you don't try.

Well, I guess my own appearance factors in a lot when considering girls.. I try to take care of my appearance sometimes to the point that I obsess over it.. I figure maybe it is the reason I'm 23 and never dated.

 

Anyways, I'm sure that she appreciates the conversations, we usually have much more to say other than having a discussion about the weather, but us guys can easily misinterpret things and I don't want to impose or become a burden of sorts... Her looks don't really matter to me; as long as there's some physical chemistry, I'm not looking for perfection. But because she is beautiful I have to worry: what if she accepts but someone who isn't so thin or taller comes along. Just don't her to feel like she'd have to settle for less, even though I do have a lot to offer in terms of empathy, compassion, and thoughtfulness.

[Realitynut]

And sometimes empathy, compassion and thoughtfulness, is all a woman is looking for in a man! It's a damn good start!

[abysmal]

And sometimes empathy, compassion and thoughtfulness, is all a woman is looking for in a man! It's a damn good start!

Point taken and appreciated; I know these attributes are essential. I am sincere and I mean well, and I feel like she can probably sense that, but I know that it's not enough alone, and I hope maybe I can be acceptable in the physical sense.

 

Not sure how to approach this though, being as I'm quite insecure.

[LoveSoDeep]

If you're already having good conversation with her then she likes you on that level. The only way to get more confidence in dating is to start doing it...like riding a bike...you don't know you can until you're actually doing it and once you do it it's second nature.

 

Do it...I like the more casual...."I really want to see this movie but I hate going alone" or...."man I really ave a craving for wanna go grab some...my treat!" ideas above. I say give it a shot.

[TimmyBoy]

Personally, I would just ask her out for a drink so that it's clear how you mean it. Girls usually have male friends these days which can make things blurry if you look at things in a more traditional way. Just my two cents.

[abysmal]

Honestly, I'm just fearful of being rejected, so I am intentionally throwing myself into the friendzone.. I don't mind being just another male friend, but I do want things to escalate beyond the level they are at now. I will likely see her tomorrow.

[Perplexingana]

You should ask her out! You seem like a really great guy and if you have a good personality which in my opinion you do based on what you wrote here and under my post I think you will shine right through. Looks are superficial. Don't worry so much. I tend to have the same doubts when I see attractive men, I think it's not likely a guy like that would be into a girl like me, I have self-esteem issues too but I tend to suck it up and just come right out with what I think and feel. Yeah it sucks to be friend zoned but if they don't want to date me that's ok because I at least can be happy in the fact that they want my friendship not to mention if they are super cute I can always look at them even if I'm just a friend. I told a co-worker a little while back that I thought he was cute, he was flattered and said we would be friends only though. Now he is my roommate and a wonderful best friend, not to mention I get to see him everyday. I'd say even though I still like him, seeing him, being his roommate and close friend are all amazing things. She can say no and be just a friend or it can go into a dating scenario but you won't know unless you try! You can do it! It will also boost your confidence because you tried.