lifeisaparadox Posted June 2, 2013 Share Posted June 2, 2013 Their family makes plans SO last minute, they change things, or their plans fall through! For example, they'll make plans so last minute and invite me right when they're about to go! For one day, I just got off work and was on my way home when they called me. Then another day, I was already out with my girlfriends who were in town. Yesterday they invited me to hang out with them at night (they invited me early for once) so I went over their house but they ended up not doing anything! Literally they all went to sleep an hour after I arrived at their house. They're actually almost always like this whenever they have family from out of town over, so I don't know why I'm surprised. Today they didn't have any plans this morning so I invited them all to come eat dinner tonight with my friends and me. It was going to be a birthday/hang out dinner since I will be busy working on the days before/on/and after my birthday. After making the plans to go, changing reservations, etc. my bf tells me that his parents want to take him and his entire family to a buffet, so it's just me and my girlfriends as originally planned. We ended up arguing for a bit because he called me selfish for getting a little mad! First off, he thinks I'm mad because he is putting his priority in his family and not me! I'm not!!! I'm actually just REALLY mad that they can NEVER have a solid plan, their plans change all the time, everybody in that family is so indecisive, and everything is just so last minute! He told me that I'm extremely selfish for thinking this way and that I need to grow up. ENA, am I being really selfish? I honestly am just so fed up with their inability to create a solid plan. Maybe it's just me -- I'm the planner. I like planning things in advance and I'd like to know what I am doing for the day. I had planned my pre-birthday dinner/hangout the day before (with him there) but just didn't formally invite him and his family because I didn't want them to last minute change plans. But on the day of, finding out that they had no plans, thought I'd do a nice gesture and invite them anyway! Link to comment
DN Posted June 2, 2013 Share Posted June 2, 2013 No, you are not being selfish, changing plans like that is infuriating. Link to comment
Kaytie Posted June 2, 2013 Share Posted June 2, 2013 You are not selfish at all. That kind of indecisiveness shows complete lack of respect for others' time. It's rude and that would make me crazy. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted June 2, 2013 Share Posted June 2, 2013 I know the feeling, and no, you're not being selfish. We received an invitation to a graduation yesterday, and guess when this was taking place...today. Needless to say, we didn't go. It's called common courtesy, therefore stand your ground. Link to comment
Sparklesong Posted June 2, 2013 Share Posted June 2, 2013 That kind of thing drives me crazy, too. It is extremely rude and inconsiderate. What you do from now on is don't make plans that include them, and when they invite you to do something, say you already have plans, don't go. Link to comment
Kendahke Posted June 3, 2013 Share Posted June 3, 2013 You cannot make them be like you, so stop wasting energy being frustrated with them. Stop making plans that include them. Stop participating in plans that include them. They're not going to change to please you: they're not in a relationship with you and they don't have to. You need to decide if this is the hill to die on. It doesn't sound like it is, unless you're trying to make them change how they are, and if that's the case, then you're in a futile fight. Link to comment
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