All my friends have someone, I feel so alone

[FootballGuyO4]

All of my friends have a girlfriend or about to be girlfriend right now. I can't even get myself to go out with them anymore because it just makes me feel awful inside. I have never had a girlfriend before and now that I'm 16 that makes me both sad and pissed off. I am starting to deffinately doubt my attraction to women. I personally, don't think I am unattractive at all. The problem is I everyone think I'm just some big jerk. I'm really not a jerk. I just don't know where to draw the line when I'm trying to make girls laugh. If there are any ladies out there please tell me how I need to act around women. I know this may seem odd that I'm asking this but please I need help. There is this Christmas Dance coming up where the girls ask the guys and I still haven't been asked yet. I need to know how to act or how to charm women into likeing me. So what do I need to do to get women to like me? What can I do to clean up my comedy? And what can I do to get invited to the dance? Thanks for all the help guys, it really means alot to me that there are people willing to help you out in a difficult situation. So any thoughts?

[Inconceivable]

First of all: It's great you're willing to clean yourself up...I know tons of guys that just tell themselves that the girls are just idiots because they don't love them.

 

Anyway: One big thing to do it definatly learn where to draw the line on the comedy. A sense of humor is awesome, but you have to learn when it's funny and when it's just stupid/gross/annoying or whatever. And don't get pissed off because you can't get a girl. My brother didn't have his first girlfriend until he was 23. If there is a certain girl you like, be nice and sweet to her. Spend time with her.

 

Don't 'charm' them into liking you. Make them like you because you have a great personality. Don't be self-centered, make sure you talk about her too. Don't talk way too much, listen to. But actually listen. Don't just 'uh-huh. uh-huh'. And most of all, is make sure that you like her. Don't just get a girlfriend to have a girlfriend, because that IS something a jerk would do. Wait until it's right.

 

Good luck!

[ayekasong]

Hey Footballguy04, I know exactly how you feel. When I was your age, everyone I knew had a boyfriend or at least the prostpect of one. I didn't have my first boyfriend until I was 19, and I felt incredibly inadequate.

 

I know it is frustrating to not have a girlfriend and that you want to do everything you can to get one, but honestly, the best thing you can do is be yourself. It's a big turn off to many girls when it's apparent that a guy is trying too hard. Besides, I'm sure you're a great guy inside. You can do little things to "clean up," but don't go hiding your personality to try and get a girl.

 

You're time will come, too.

[nexus532]

you should ues the fact that all your friends have girlfriends as a helper. See if your friends girlfriend has any single friends, than arrange a double date. For being funny don't do anything that may hurt anyones feelings or offend someone. Eventhough the girls may laugh at it they might still think you are a jerk. When get around the girls compliment them and talk about the day.

[FootballGuyO4]

Thanks for the advice guys! The one thing I have to say is the reason it pisses me off is bc my friends give me crap about never having a girlfriend all the time, and every time I try to get a girlfriend, what happens is I end up getting a girl who is just a friend. I really can't take only being a friend to every girl I know. I want to be more so bad. Anything I should do?

[DaXMan]

FootballGuy: You are not alone.

 

I'm 16 like you and I've neve gone on a date either. I got some advice to cheer u up:

 

1.) Does EVERY ONE of your friends have a gf or are u exaggerating? I though all my friends were getting somewhere too, but we're all single so go figure. If they all have gf's, use the advice metioned a few posts before mine and "inquire" about a double-date. It can work out really well.

 

2.) Girls in high school are messed up (no offense). In my school for example, a lot of the hot girls are sl_ts (or have at least gone to 2B). I think they've cooled down a bit lately, but some have some notorious reps (of course I now learn my target has one cuz two guys fought over her once). Pretty much, college I heard is the better option for a relationship. In high school, just look for genuine good people that spark ur interest. If they have a rep, so what? When something happens and you are aware of it when it does happen, then the problem rises (like if she did it now).

 

3.) For comedy, try using wit. I use it and it seems to work. Try to say something short and funny about something that just happened to her or something to that nature. Like a girl I know was complaining about how much HW she had in one really hard class, so later I told her how I'm excited to take the class next year cuz it's so easy. Make light of te situation and have a good time. Take jokes well, because sometimes they could be testing you!!

 

4.) If the girls ask the guy, take the part the girl would normally play. No, I don't mean cross your legs and act really sexy all te time . What I mean is, drop subtle hints and flirt - the girl could grab interest and ask you to the dance.

 

Don't worry about never having a gf. You WILL get one - just be confident and keep ur head up. Good luck! (hopefully works for me too)

[DBL]

I admit I was a jerk...some people still feel I am. I never called a girl an idiot for not dating me. Now I could be a jerk to a girl for like a year, then be nice once...and she is all over me. I tormented this girl once in front of all her friends, she said I was a jerk and hated me...I got me some in the end.

 

Just be yourself, don't try to be funny...let it be natural or not at all. You can learn magic tricks or something...on TV that seems to impress the woman.

 

DBL

[Mun]

I read an article sometime ago that said a charming man is comfortable with himself and greets others warmly among other things that I can't remember now.

 

I suppose in your case you could start by saying hello to the girls. Try to be at ease, pretend not to be nervous. I think we all get nervous at some time we just fake it that we aren't.

 

Humor should be natural. Forcing yourself to be funny will just make everyone uncomfortable if your jokes bomb. Relax.

 

Good luck

[winkie]

Well lets see, I was in your shoes once. However, I am a girl. I am not sure you can coax people into liking you or change who you are. I went all through High School always being everyone's friend. I honestly think the best thing at your age is to not have a girlfriend. You can miss so much. Half of your friends are not going to stay with these girls anyway. You will always be able to do what you want when you want unlike your friends with g/f's they will always have someone that may get hurt in the background. Also, when you are looking for a g/f that is when it will never happen.

 

But in answer to your question....it depends on what types of girls you are trying to attract??

You can act sensitive and thoughful always remember what they say and respond accordingly. Always notice what they change hair, makeup. Make them feel they are important. (this sometimes works but it can also backfire and you become their friend....but that may not be so bad...in the end)

OR

Act like a jerk and play it cool. Pretend you dont care about being without a g/f. Make sure girls notice you, be confident but NOT arrogant. Make them come to you.

Although, I believe you should be true to yourself and one day you will meet someone that likes you for you and that is the most important thing.

 

Good Luck

 

PS cant you go with a friend that is a girl to the dance....sometimes that is the best thing. It is good to have friends that are girls because it could turn into something else. That is a great way for them to really know yo and see that you are a great person. Plus, you are only 16 you have so much more to learn and I think that by coming on here you are on the right track.

[FootballGuyO4]

Well I have some great news! Last night I got asked to the dance by this really hot girl who really a cool girl. So thanks for all the help and I'm definitely gonna use some of the things you said to do. So Thanks!

[winkie]

I am really happy for you. I hope it works out. Remember you really just have to be yourself...