Had a talk: Says she is still in love but things don't feel the same

[jbdk]

I've been posting a lot about a recent issue I've had with my LD girlfriend of around 6 months or so, and here's another update for those who have helped and those interested. Firstly, we met, eventually had a romantic fling, and then I left for home while she stayed aboard. We remained in touch but knew a LDR would not only be stupid and irresponsible, but nearly impossible too. Well, our feelings superseded our better judgement, and we became a long-distance couple--sadly and pathetically. We would laugh and talk for hours and always keep in contact. Eventually she came to see me and it was for a lack of a better word perfect. After she left I decided to really let myself open up and we talked about having her eventually move to come be with me, as it was the only realistic option (we agreed I couldn't move to her). She started to slowly become more and more distant after that point, which she claims didn't affect her drifting.

 

A few weeks ago, I went to visit her and she still seemed a bit more distant than usual. There were some really nice times but a lot of tension also; it was different than when she came to my country to visit. She seemed uncomfortable with anything more than cuddling, hand-holding, and small kisses, but those all felt very intimate for the both of us. She suffers from depression, can be very negative, and was traumatically sexually assaulted a few years ago, which I attributed to her distancing herself when she wouldn't tell me what she was feeling.

 

Anyway, (enough with the backstory) I returned home and she was giving me the silent treatment as well as hid information about us from her Facebook account. We had a conversation yesterday about it and I asked her important relationship questions. She said she does have some worries about coming to my country but the largest issue is that "things don't feel the same as they used to". While we were together, I commented on not having anything to talk about, which really may have stuck in her head too. I figured it was a phase in the relationship because I've felt this way before in past relationships and even with her a little. She told me she does really love me, but isn't sure if we can really get through this or if it's time to call it quits. I told her my stance that I'm willing to talk it through (because we haven't really done that yet) and see if we can work it out, but, although I do not want to lose her, I am okay with it ending--or I'm trying to convince myself of that, at least.

[Ms Darcy]

I said this in your other thread and it is still true: "It sounds like you have to be the one to end it because she is not willing to do so."

[wolflovesmoon]

i am afraid there is a chance of 50% she is involved with someone and she is weighting her options, there is no such thing as i love you but i don`t see things working, they are working because we don`t want to fix them for whatever reasons, i bet its matter of time before she tells you the truth or you`ll find out some other way, at this point, you got to start thinking about that you want