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indeed i know that i am going insane


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i have a strange fear. i have a fear of the supernatural. when i was little i believe that i experienced some supernatural happenings when i was younger. though of course it has been years since i still feel the same fear that i felt when i was a little girl. now though i am still young and now in college, living in dorm life i felt i had gotten away from the supernatural happenings that i believed i had frequently experienced. however, i heard many stories and rumors about certain buildings on my campus that may have supposedly been 'inhabited' by 'spirits'. apparently, my current dorm was one of these buildings. now i know that it is very childish of me to worry about these things, but i have become paranoid over the idea that supernatural occurrences have happened in my building. its gotten to the point where i was shaking violently and refused to go to my room or to the bathrooms by myself. i know its rediculous to believe in such things but my actions are getting the best of me. i keep looking over my shoulder when im in the hall and if i am in my room by myself its impossible for me to sleep because i force my eyes open and i cant sleep. its been 3 weeks now and i cant deal with the lack of sleep. i do have a roommate and i do feel more at ease when she is in the room but in honesty it doesnt help much because i still feel the need to have to force myself awake. the shaking has stopped but i keep looking over my shoulder and i feel like i am going crazy. i have made an appointment to speak to the counseling services available on campus but i just wanted to talk to others about it. but i when i went to the appointment there was some kind of party being held in the office and when i walked in everyone looked at me like i didnt belong there and i felt so out of place and stupid that i just left without talking to anyone. i hope im really not going insane.

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It is important to determine whether you are experiencing supernatural phenomena or psychological distortions such as paranoia. Once you described your office visit, it really sounds like paranoia. You may be very sensitive, and gifted also.

 

Don't indulge in your fears. Don't psych yourself out. I am quite certain that whatever power the supernatural has in our lives comes directly from what emotions we give it. If you give it fear, that's what you get back. If you give it happiness and love, that's what it returns. Anyway, if you believe in ghosts, fine, but don't believe they can harm you.

 

You need sleep. And it may be a good idea to talk to a counselor who can put these sensations in perspective. In your situation, I would pray. You can pray at anytime for light and wisdom. Light clears away the darkeness of fear. Wisdom is clarity to really see what is going on.

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I know how you feel. I remember this time in 1st grade. I had my head down on my desk and all of the sudden I started to feel like I was dieing... I closed my eyes and when I opened them I was looking at my body laying still in the same posisition in the desk. All I could see of myself was me being like a "spirit" or "ghost". I walked around the room and could read peoples thoughts. At first I thought I was dreaming but when my spirit and body reunited it was just too real. I've heard of this happening to people before so maybe it really did happen to me....

 

Plus a lot of things I dream about always end up coming true. I think all dreams are for a reason but you just have to figure out what they mean. I totally believe in the supernatural. You are not crazy.

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