Life is grand

[sensesfail]

For everyone that knows how it feels for everything to fall apart.

When you're family doesn't care about you, or each other, everyone is separated and we have nothing. It doesnt matter where I live. I have no real home I've been moving around with many different people since I was born. I have no place where I feel right and comfortable. I make straight A's but it doesnt matter when you can never get to school. I have to live with my friends and her mom was psycho, so I moved back in with my mom. I have nothing here. They wouldnt let me switch schools so my mom has to drive me. But she wont get up in the mornings. Not only that, Ive been going out with a great guy for 8 months and we had a perfect relatiobship. not only is that falling apart, but I'm the one that did it. I was scared of commitment. I broke up with him and uhrt him so bad, then I wanted him back, and we are together again. but he told me last night he doesnt feel the same about me anymore. Before I broke up with him, i was all he ever wanted. Now, about a week later, he isnt sure. He is all I had to count on, all that kept me going. Im losing my friends. I lost my best friend that i knew since I was 4, because I was sticking up for my boyfriend, because I love him so much. She turned into someone I didnt like anyways. And the rest of my friends kind of....got new ones. I have no one to talk to, and no one that would listen anyways. My mom never liked my boyfriend because he was "ugly" in her opinion. Just like the rest of my stuck up family, yeah they had a lot to say. They didnt even know him. I guess they would rather have me turn out like my sister. Get pregnant at 17 and have a boyfriend so crazy and insecure. He tried to punch her in the stomach because his friends told him that she "tried" to get pregnant by him. So now her kid has no dad and shes on her own. But as long as "the baby is beautiful" its ok. Last night when my boyfriend told me how he felt, if felt like my chest was going to cave in. I tried to sleep for hours, and after a while it made me feel like I was going to throw up. I couldnt sleep, and it made me think of what Im doing in life. I have nothing to help me. Im going no where. Everything I thought about made me sick. Thinking about getting a new boyfriend made me sick. Thinking about hanging out with people made me sick. Thinking about going to school and getting a job made me sick. Life makes me sick. And I dont know why. Theres nothing I want anymore. The only think that doesnt make me sick is thinking about being with my boyfriend. What we had can never be replaced. I dont know what to do.

[Breea]

Please know that things never stay the same, they will get better. All I can say is that I understand how you are feeling. Life is hard! I had to grow up overnight and understand feeling totally alone in the world. I was a straight A student, bright, but had no support from my disfunctional family. I did have a baby way too soon and was thrown out by my mom. I had to provide for myself by the time I was 18 with a baby. It DID make me a much stronger person. The struggles in life help shape us. They provide the motivation to better ourselves and truly be who we want to be. I have many regrets in life, but understand how the bad stuff helped me grow into who I am today.

 

I still feel alone in this world and it's true. I fell in love with my bf but reality is back in town and I realize that no matter whether I'm with him or not I AM ALONE! We are born alone and will inevitably die alone. I can only TRULY count on myself in the end. You sound like a strong person. I understand your pain. Love is so complex. It can take you to the clouds and it can crash to the depths that we were never aware of before knowing love. Trust that if you and your bf are meant to be you will work things out. You are just in need right now big time. I wish I could send you a big hug as I feel you need one. Just remember ...that which does not kill you only makes you stronger! and know that there are people who care!

 

I hope you feel better soon ...Bree

[SkyFire]

When you're family doesn't care about you, or each other, everyone is separated and we have nothing.

 

In times like that, you can only count on yourself. You have yourself.

 

 

Try forgetting about your boyfriend. I am strongly suggesting about not getting into another relationship. Do not count on people to make your life better. You have to do it.

 

The only advice I can give you right now is stay strong. I have a friend in Russia who is 16, same age as me, has 3 little brothers to take care of, and is without a home or parents.

 

Believe in yourself, and stay strong.

 

Best of luck.