For everyone that knows how it feels for everything to fall apart.
When you're family doesn't care about you, or each other, everyone is separated and we have nothing. It doesnt matter where I live. I have no real home I've been moving around with many different people since I was born. I have no place where I feel right and comfortable. I make straight A's but it doesnt matter when you can never get to school. I have to live with my friends and her mom was psycho, so I moved back in with my mom. I have nothing here. They wouldnt let me switch schools so my mom has to drive me. But she wont get up in the mornings. Not only that, Ive been going out with a great guy for 8 months and we had a perfect relatiobship. not only is that falling apart, but I'm the one that did it. I was scared of commitment. I broke up with him and uhrt him so bad, then I wanted him back, and we are together again. but he told me last night he doesnt feel the same about me anymore. Before I broke up with him, i was all he ever wanted. Now, about a week later, he isnt sure. He is all I had to count on, all that kept me going. Im losing my friends. I lost my best friend that i knew since I was 4, because I was sticking up for my boyfriend, because I love him so much. She turned into someone I didnt like anyways. And the rest of my friends kind of....got new ones. I have no one to talk to, and no one that would listen anyways. My mom never liked my boyfriend because he was "ugly" in her opinion. Just like the rest of my stuck up family, yeah they had a lot to say. They didnt even know him. I guess they would rather have me turn out like my sister. Get pregnant at 17 and have a boyfriend so crazy and insecure. He tried to punch her in the stomach because his friends told him that she "tried" to get pregnant by him. So now her kid has no dad and shes on her own. But as long as "the baby is beautiful" its ok. Last night when my boyfriend told me how he felt, if felt like my chest was going to cave in. I tried to sleep for hours, and after a while it made me feel like I was going to throw up. I couldnt sleep, and it made me think of what Im doing in life. I have nothing to help me. Im going no where. Everything I thought about made me sick. Thinking about getting a new boyfriend made me sick. Thinking about hanging out with people made me sick. Thinking about going to school and getting a job made me sick. Life makes me sick. And I dont know why. Theres nothing I want anymore. The only think that doesnt make me sick is thinking about being with my boyfriend. What we had can never be replaced. I dont know what to do.
