Can I get him back?

[huirhg]

Hi sorry about the length of this post but I really need some advice.

So my boyfriend of almost 6 months broke up with me 3 weeks ago.It was unexpected as we had plans to go away over the summer and hang out.

I think I know why he broke up with me but i dont know how to fix it.

Basically , for the first 5 months things were incredible , we were both madly in love and loved talking and being with each other.Then at the end of march I had to go on a compulsory trip with college, which I was not looking forward to at all as I didnt know anyone who was going.On the trip I was miserable and just missed him like crazy , I guess it made me see how much he meant to me and I couldn't wait to see him. When I came home he came straight over to mine and we spent the night cuddling and watching movies. The next two weeks we hung out pretty much everyday and things were really good, we went out on dates, had movie nights in , hung out with his friends, celebrated his 21st , went to a funfair , hung out in the park and made plans for the future (by this I mean summer).

But things weren't all good, I guess I had become clingy, needy and insecure while I was away without realizing it.I was also moody.I kept picking fights over stupid things, that would last half an hour max and then things would be forgiven.I also used to get really upset without understanding why and often told him he should break up with me.I guess I just needed to know, he'd be there for me as my friends had basically ditched me.

Because of the constant fighting I was always asking him to meet up so we could have happy times which we did but i became to dependant on him and didnt realize until it was too late.Anyway one night i was talking to him on skype and i was exhausted and really wanted him to ask me out as I was always the one initiating dates, he never did and could tell i was annoyed.I told him i was fine and hung up.Then i called him back and gave out to him saying i was upset he never asken me out , which was when he said he only wanted to see me once o twice a week till our college exams were over.I completley overeacted and told him i wouldnt date him if he only wanted to see me once a week and hung up even though he was crying and trying to compromise.I realized what i had done and went to call him back, we made up and arranged to meet up the next day to work things out.

The next day as we were arranging to meet up i realized i was being a bit cold but we arranged to meet that night.On my way in I kind of just knew he was going to break up with me and the minute i saw him i started crying and said i dont want to break up. We spent around 2 and a half hours together , both of us crying.He was really upset but kept saying he couldnt be with me because he was to stressed with all the fighting and was afraid of failing his exams.He kept saying he loved me and was sorry . No matter what i said , he wouldnt change his mind but when he felt sick i brought him to the bathroom and he came out acting like we were still together.I asked him and he started crying , i told him id give him space to think about what was best for him.But when i got home i rang him and just cryed and begged. The next day i sent him an email reminding him of all the good times and how much i love him .He called me half an hour later and broke up with me over the phone.He hung up before i could react and then switched his hone off.

The next day i called him and asked did he want to go on a break till the exams ended, he said no.Over the past few weeks i have seen him 3 times and I have cried and begged him to stay everytime.I keep getting confused though as he seems genuinley concerned and hugs me tightly and wipes my tears away. Whenever i ask about getting back he just says im sorry but i want to be friends.When i told him i couldnt be friends because id want more, he insisted on it, and told me he still cares about me and is physically and emotionally atrracted to me , despite not loving me anymore.I explained why i was acting the way i did(trip and the pill) and apologized for everything a thousand times.I also realized that when i suggested going on a break , i meant see each other less , so in effect we were fighting over something we both wanted.THe thing is i just dont understand how he could cry when i suggest going on a break but then 2 days later break up with me?

He also gave me a wonderful birthday present and card 2 weeks after the break up?

I told him I wouldnt contact him till after the exams, i miss him so much and just want a chance to go back to the way things were before the trip.Im not going to beg or apologize anymore, I think i need to show him im still the girl he fell in love with.

I was just wondering if anyone had any advice on how i could do this and if you think i have a chance of getting him back?

Thanks

[Sparklesong]

I don't know what the pill is that you're talking about with your college trip, but I don't know any guy who would want to be around someone who acted the way you described.

 

But, since he obviously did have some feelings for you and has contacted you even though you're supposed to be on break, he'll probably be sniffing around again. What you need to do in the meantime is get a grip on yourself and your emotions and BE a woman he WANTS to be with.

 

Men need space, they need time alone and they need time with their friends,and they want their women to have a life of their own. You need to understand this and accept this instead of going batpoop hysterical crazy if you find yourself alone on a weeknight. He cannot fill every aching need and whim and void that you imagine you have. That idea is frightening for any guy. Let him have some time to himself and you go hang out with some girlfriends, or catch up on tv while you do your nails. You're not married, you don't need to see him every night of the week. Basically, get a life, girl.

 

Take this time while you're 'on break' and work on yourself. The world will still revolve if he is not in your life. Seek out some professional help if you need to. And if he does come back, then stop it with the crying and begging and pleading and smothering. Be sweet, be nice, be fun, and when it's time for him to go, say "good-bye, have fun" with a smile on your face and go do something. SHOW him who you are, don't TELL him.

[huirhg]

The pill has nothing to do with the trip , i was on it and that caused the moodswings and being sad for no reason.I have since come off it and my moods are back to normal.We're not on a break he broke up with me and just wants to be friends never felt any need i had, and never said he wanted space.I have stopped the begging and crying and am trying to be the women he wants to be with im just worried he wont contact me . HE has shown and said that he still cares about me though.