Warning To Men Who Ride Horses !

[S4il]

Ok let me start by saying i didn't know where to put this (what some ppl call funny story about me) but i would like to share it with you people here, b/c well some people said it was funny (true story by the way happened last week)

 

I went out on this date, with a girl in A small town called Plano, Illinois, not to small but small enough to say just about everybody knows each other, OK so any ways...This girl LOVES horses, absolutely adores them, talk and talks about how she wants to someday own her own horse, So me being me i take advantage of what a girl is interested in...cause that is just what a guy is spoused to show a girl...a good time, Right..?

 

First part of the date went great, grabbed lunch at a subway, No problems yet except a little mustard on new Nautica Jean jacket, So everything is going rather smooth.

 

So after lunch we meet up with my Sister who has a Horse on a Ranch/Farm, (same difference i guess) where she owns her own horse called "Trigger".

 

NOW before i start> I have to make clear that this horse, i have never meet, never been on it before (ridden), it didn't know me. And i didn't know it. -

 

Back to the Ranch. After my date had no problem riding Trigger i figured i better step up to the plate and get on the damn horse myself, instead of looking like a moron in front of my date chasing those darn goats away from the bumper of my Jeep Cherokee ( BTW Goats they eat everything )

 

So..me being me some how always gets me into trouble, it's like a life time of bad luck, Just when everything is going great, Something bad happens..To get to the point I finally after 4 minutes get on the horse's back..Now I'm feeling pretty cool with it and all, making my date laugh by saying "do i look like the Stetson guy" or the POLO guy on the bottle striking poses for my date on the back of a horse really wasn't something i had planned on, but it seemed like a humorous thing too do..I get around to the Instructions my sister is giving me about how to ride trigger, She explained that the horse was trained to listen to the riders clicks you make with your mouth,...so really it's just making clicking noises.

 

1 click=Walk 2 clicks=Fast Walk and 3 clicks=Turbo Charged

 

So i get around to about 1 click, the walk, Everything is all gravy, than out of no where my date did something i will never forgive her for, she got on the side of the horse and smacked it on it's butt (HARD), Of course 2 girls who are experienced riders would know how to handle a horse in Turbo charged gear by simply pulling the rope around the horses neck, well problem with that is I'm not really your country cow boy type, More City type/Urban kind of guy, So as you can imagine a guy on the back of a Horse going from walk--Too--Full gallop (which i call Turbo charged) wasn't exactly the most enjoyable feeling, To make matters worse for a man.. The horse had no damn Saddle..just a old blanket, and a rope around it's neck, with the thing in it's mouth.

 

Now I'll warrant you the right to picture a guy, with no experience with riding horse's, With no saddle, And as most of you should know that MEN having something between your legs, that Riding horses "bareback" Really can't be more pleasurable than being given a series of hard knocks to that general area..But really there isn't much you can do when your on the back of a horse going about 15-20 mph if not more, And to anyone that doesn't know what being on the back of a horse is like, i guessed it's best described as BUMP BUMP BUMP every second, In turbo charged gear.

 

Now, I'm sure you can get an idea of what wasn't feeling to great by the end of my ride, So to all guys reading this i have to give you a warning about riding horses bareback, Don't attempt to without proper equipment, Meaning a SADDLE...and if they make a special saddle just for US men than i would request using it, so you don't end up like me with 3 days off work for..Well i think you get the idea.

[San123]

lol, will there be a second date?

[Meow18]

Ouch.. I hope you get better! As San123 asked, will you be going out with this girl again?

 

By the way, my aunt and uncle used to live in Plano! Not that it makes any difference, just thought I would share.

[DBL]

So we should wear a cup?

[shes2smart]

So we should wear a cup?

 

That's what my riding instructor suggested to male students.

[S4il]

2nd date is in the air..she said after turkey day she had some time to do something...I sad thats great i'll keep an open mind as long as it doens't have anything to do with riding horses.

[Starkitty]

Pain for pleasure

[S4il]

Yea! hah thats an understatment.

[unnaturally_thin]

oh my....jeeze....you gotta learn to RIDE before u go "turbo charged".....I know MANY men that ride and they have no problem at all...cause they LEARNED how to ride properly....so maybe take a few lessons before you try riding Trigger again?! hehe