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Hi all, if you read my post yesterday about my ex well i text him and told him i that since we split up he had met a girl who he has became freinds with and he wanted us to get back together

 

he had told me about this girl and that he looks after her children at times and goes to hers for dinner and sometimes stays over at hers

 

i told him this didnt sit right with me and that i was uncomfortable with this and i wished him well

 

he text me back saying he would never have stayed over at hers if we would have started our relationship again, and it was no good starting up again if there was no trust

 

i text back it wasnt about trust i just wasnt happy with the situation

 

he text back "i thought you knew me better than that" to which i text i just wanted to get things clear before moving forward

 

so he then text me well i would not have stayed in hers while being with you

 

i text thats good at least iam clear with that

 

that was the last i heard from him

 

 

my friend thinks he is bothered and is playing games, i now feel i have gone overboard on all this but i also think i was right to say how i felt

 

any thoughts

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Please stop contacting him. Why do you care whether or not he understands your point of view?

 

It has been 18 months, and nothing has changed. Delete his number so you are not tempted to contact him.

 

Move forward....enough stagnation w/ this guy.

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Do you think it matters? So you weren't happy -- and yet, you were not in a relationship. You guys broke up a long time ago, he contacted you -- you met up with him. And he has another woman in his life. Who cares....

 

Clearly, you do. But he has not changed at all -- he is doing drugs with her, he has no money....and he contacts you and yanks your chain and you respond.

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ms darcy, i met up with my ex he wanted to try again he told me about this friend of his which didnt feel right to me and i was just wanting advice asking did i do the right thing would this situation sit right with anyone else

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ms darcy, i met up with my ex he wanted to try again he told me about this friend of his which didnt feel right to me and i was just wanting advice asking did i do the right thing would this situation sit right with anyone else

 

No, it wouldn't sit right with me. Why does he need to keep her around? It seems to me that his statement that he never would have stayed at her house if you were getting back together is him essentially saying, "I'll let go of her ONLY when I know for SURE you're going to take me back." Sounds like he's using one or both of you as a back-up of sorts.

 

Plus, I just have to say this: The guy was a coke dealer. He has admitted that he still "does lines" with this girl, which means he still uses coke. For all you know, he may still be selling it, and even if he isn't, he's still involved with it. Is this what you want for yourself? I have a very firm "no drugs" policy for my life -- this means me, my friends, people I date, because with drug use often comes a lifestyle (and shady people) that I don't want anywhere near me. Don't you think you deserve better?

 

And, aside from the drugs: He's flaky. I wouldn't be at all surprised if he kept contact with that other girl even if you did take him back. You can definitely do better, and I think you know that.

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ms darcy, i met up with my ex he wanted to try again he told me about this friend of his which didnt feel right to me and i was just wanting advice asking did i do the right thing would this situation sit right with anyone else

 

You mentioned this in your other thread. You said you were uncomfortable with it and that you would end it with him. I think it's possible to end things with him without getting into the back and forth conversation.

 

Ultimately, I think you second guess yourself too much and that seems like a confidence issue.

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