Is he still interested, unsure, or just stringing me along? I'm confused!

[starrynightz45]

I met this guy who was always super awkward/nervous around me, but he finally got my number. He started texting me, and would text me every day after class for about 2 weeks. He asked me out, and the date went great and texting continued. However, my ex (who I broke up with about 3 months before, a 6yr relationship) came back into the picture, wanting to get back together.

 

I told the new guy about this because I wanted to be honest (terrible call), and just told him I didn't want my ex, but that things were kind of a mess. He told me he didn't want to be involved, and stopped texting/calling, which I understood. When I talked to him about it again, he repeated the same thing. But then he invited me out with him and his friend, and acted distant the whole time. When I confronted him about it, he said he felt I had a wall up bc of my ex, and that he wasn't looking for anything, and that apparently he had invited me out as a friend only?

 

Then, he invited the class to his talent show and I went. He flirted the whole time, telling me I looked great, and he was glad I wasn't like other "generic girls." However, he still doesn't call or text anymore. I saw him flirting with another girl in class on facebook since then, but any time I see him on campus, he glances at me. When I see him in the cafeteria, no matter where he sits, he's constantly craning his neck and looking back at me, and it's pretty obvious at times. I'm really confused and not sure what to do. I've been trying to ignore the situation and move on, but it's really hard when I constantly catch him staring at me, or when he approaches me to chat.

 

I'm not sure if he was just looking for a hook up and got scared off when I mentioned the ex, hates me, is giving me time, or is just a player. I really liked this guy, and want to know if there's any way to fix it or if there's anything I can do. Advice?

[Crispin7891]

Goodness, that is interesting. I feel like honesty would be the best in this case. Sending him a text saying "hey, my ex really is out of the picture. I'd like to give us another try and get to know you better" I feel like you were honest with us on the forum and that could help him out as well. I feel like if he knew that you were interested, you'd get a more clear answer whether he is still interested or not. It sounds like he is, but looks like he's trying to avoid any drama love triangles like mad.

 

Hope that helps. Best of luck!

[Greatone99]

Not sure why you even needed to tell him if you didn't want to get back with your ex...

[starrynightz45]

Not sure why you even needed to tell him if you didn't want to get back with your ex...

 

I admit it was a moment of stupidity on my part. I hadn't answered his multiple calls in a few hours because I was dealing with the ex, and I felt guilty about making up a lie. I know, very stupid of me.

[wilyone 11]

He's obviously very attracted to you.

 

The more you like someone, the more easily you are scared off by things like exes entering the picture, because it could result in you getting very hurt.

 

I think he is trying very hard to avoid getting hurt. I agree that you should somehow casually let him know that your ex is totally out of the picture. Don't be intense about it though.

[Sparklesong]

From his point of view, he started something and then you threw the ex-bf at him. So he backed off to avoid being caught up in one of those messes. If you are really interested in him, you need to show it, don't wait for him to try again.

 

Exes should always be a non-issue when starting a new relationship and should pretty much just be ignored if they re-appear. If their re-appearances ever cause that much upset and drama, then you really need to question whether or not they are really behind you. And if they're not, don't start any new relationships until they are. Feeling anything other than a nostalgic twinge usually means there are unresolved feelings still lingering.