whats with guys an exs????? whats normal and whats not

[buckley]

is it ok for guys/boyfriends to fatasise about their exs and keep in touch with them and tell their exs how they would be sooo tempted to have sex with them again or certain things they used to do otgether in bed with one another, and ask for pervy photos of them and tell them they couldnt actually see them again because they know that they would try to come onto them and that it would be wrong to do it for real as they dont want to fall out with their ex or cause complications...........this is what my bofriend has been sayin to his ex behind my back.....should i be worried, is he still in loev with her...am i just security....

do people sometimes just go out with people just to have someone, eveven for a really long time????

[bzborow1]

If you want to be successful in your relationships you need to set some boundaries. I recently got out of a relationship in which no boundaries were set, and believe me, it just doesn't work.

 

The bottom line is that you need to tell him what you're comfortable with. YOU are his gf, and his number one priority should be you. I would just tell him exactly what you think is appropriate as a boundary for you. If he really likes you and wants to be with you, he'll pull back to be within those boundaries with respect to his EX.

 

And just for the record. I personally think that he should NOT be doing those things, not if he's in a relationship with someone new.

[Crushed]

Just my 2 cents.

 

Fantasize about the ex, no prob. Men fantasize about most women and with their ex they have a more vivid picture to remember. It's nota knock on you but that's how men are. The diference is if it's just a harmless fantasy or if they want to act on it.

 

Keeping in touch, this one's touchy. It would depend how many GF's removed from her he is, but in general staying friends is nothing to worry about. From what your saying "tell their exs how they would be sooo tempted to have sex with them again or certain things they used to do otgether in bed with one another, and ask for pervy photos of them and tell them they couldnt actually see them again because they know that they would try to come onto them and that it would be wrong" That's a problem IMO. Now that's not to say you should break up with him butthis needs to be addressed ASAP and nipped in the bud. If he wants to be with his ex, so be it. And if he wants to be with you then great. But he can't have it both ways.

 

People do sometimes go out with others to be with someone, and it turns into a long time as it's comfortable. I'm not saying he is I don't know him but I think this definitely needs to be addressed.

 

Crushed