Acknowledging the past

[heartbrokengir]

One of the worst feeling about a break up is having the memories you shared with your ex flushing back into your head. It's like every scene and every moment is a flashback (like a movie) playing in your head. Then, you have acknowledge the fact that was the past and won't ever happen again is another painful and hard part of dealing with a breakup.I usually just tell myself, that was then, this is now. I let myself feel it and let these images do its playback in my head. Then when it's done, I move on. What do you guys do? Any help is appreciated!

[LAMBS4LIONS]

Sorry to hear about your heartache. What you are going thru is completely normal and understandable. I think you are handling it correctly by saying "when its done, I move on". There is no short-cut to grieving the loss of someone who was such a huge part of our lives at one point. People who rebound or sweep the feelings under the rug are not exempt. Within due time they will too have to face the loss. I like you have been playing back memories and all of the future plans that she and I made. Nostalgia sometimes sometimes gets me feeling pretty down but than I remind myself that I will o.k. in time. I'm nearly 16 months out of a 12 year relationship and I know that I will take a bit longer. Continue working on yourself and make a list of goals and activities that you would like to accomplish this year. It has helped me tremendously! Keep your head up.

[figmentations]

I get random flashbacks to happy memories, like when we first met, when we went to museums, hung around. But I just cut them short and concentrate on something else. It's too painful for me, personally, to let the entire memory play back. Just reminds me my ex left me and doesn't want me anymore. Maybe when I'm further along, I'll be able to deal more accordingly.

[Mike80]

I know exactly what you mean. Its still happening to me, and its a horrible feeling.

 

the crazy part is, I know I have to let go, but I'm afraid to. That's the hardest part. Because I know when I finally learn to let go, all those special memories....simply wont be special anymore. They were just things we did.

[heartbrokengir]

I think the best way is to acknowledge what I'm feeling and then let myself feel it for a couple of seconds. Then focus on the current again.