If You're Reading This...

[brokenicegirl]

I don't know where to start. I'm 25, divorced, living back at home with my parents (I pay rent and help them out...a lot), I am chronically tardy, inconsistent, dramatic, selfish (although sometimes I let people manipulate me and walk all over me), obsessed with music, wanting to be thin and pretty, and I am completely self destructive.

 

I also have been diagnosed with ADHD, but I'm not completely convinced that I am not somewhere on the Autism Spectrum...or maybe I'm just a huge hypochondriac?

 

I have been reading through a few journals and honestly I feel a little guilty for judging some people in the way I have been judging them in my mind. I want to comment "suck it up" to some, but then I remember that everyone deals with life in different ways, maybe I shouldn't be such a judgmental freak.

 

I think I might spend a little too much time in my own head sometimes. It makes me wonder if something is really wrong with me, or if I am just a drama queen.

 

I had a bad morning, I let two comments make me feel ugly (someone referred to me as "cute" and someone said I looked "comfy" today). In my mind, that was like being called "barely average" and "sloppily dressed"...I'm not sure if I was either of those things today, but I truly felt ugly.

 

I don't know what else to say, but I am really hoping my inconsistencies do not prevent me from returning to journal some more.

 

We shall see.