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Inter-racial Relationships

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Here's the deal.

I grew up in an all white neighborhood.

I now live in an extremely diverse school where I find I am attracted to, well maybe intrigued by would be a better way to say it, people of other races and exotic cultures.


I just got out of a long relationship a few months ago. There is this guy who likes me who is black. I liked him at first, and I actually still do, but I feel like I am too young to get into an inter racial relationship and have to deal with all the problems and hurdles before a real relationship is even established. I am EXTREMELY openminded and don't see him for his color, but for the person he is. It may seem hypocritical of me, but I guess I feel like say I met my soulmate at 30 and he happened to be another race, I would go for it. But right now, it may not be the time for me and I don't need any added stresses.

I just feel so horrible about it. Am I justified in thinking all this?

( and the last thing i want to do is offend anyone here)

I just need some advice and support.

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If you like this man and he likes you, do not let the prejudices and ignorance of others keep you from exploring what could be a wonderful relationship. Yes, you will run into some difficulties because some people simply refuse to accept that we are all part of the same race - the human race.


Nobody says you have to marry this guy. But why not give the relationship a chance? You never know where it might lead.

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Don't let him force you into doing anything that you don't wish to do. Tell him that you wish to take it slow and want to work on details as you go along. If you feel like he is putting pressure on you to do things or to think a certain way, just tell him what you told us, you are open minded, but you are more interested in a fun relationship rather than anything too serious. He may act disappointed in you, but he will be forced to show his true colors.

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I don't feel like I'm too young to get into a relationship at all. As i said, I was in one that just ended a few months ago. Maybe I'm just not ready for a relationship at all right now, whatever the race. But I think the race issue is just complicating my thoughts more right now. I'm probably just thinking too much into it. Something I do quite often.

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Hi there,

I totally understand your concern. You are still young and have so much to deal with that this will just add more to the mix. I say take your time to get to know him and don't push him aside for now. Keep the friendship, you don't know where it might lead.


Have fun and enjoy this time in your life. Later you might find that you have outgrown these concerns and you can really give him-or someone else a chance.


We are different shades of the same color, yet we all bleed the same red.



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Follow your heart. If you like this guy and could see the two of you in a relationship, go for it. Don't let the opinions of others get in the way of something you want. If you don't feel right about going out with him now, that's okay to. Just make sure to do what you feel is right for you. No one else can tell you what will make you feel happiest.

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It seems like when we are younger we look for those who are like us to hang around with and date. As we mature, we are normally exposed to different cultures, but we still know the rules of our former culture, so we may feel out of place when exposed to a lot of diversity in others.


This may make us shy away from the diversity and make us feel more self aware--this self awareness may make us more shy and uncomfortable on some level and make us stay back away from those who are new and different. It takes a lot of confidence to get away from our old beliefs and move forward in life.

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