Social Anxiety...

[hopeofheart]

Hi,

 

The reason I am writing this post is that I have come to the conclusion I may have serious social anxiety disorder. I have always been shy and introverted since I can remember (for the last 23 years to be exact). From the junior high, through high school and college, I have never actually bonded with anyone as far as I can remember. I have never ever had a single person who I can sincerely call a friend (hard to believe but it's sadly true). It is strange, and I wholeheartedly admit to it, to hear someone like me at this age, never hung out with group of people outside of his apartment (wola! that's me). I would contribute this to my lack of personality and physical appearance. Although I am physically fit, I blame this more on my persona and the way I present myself. You can say I am always an odd ball among sea of people and no interaction with the outside world. Not someone ugly, not someone with charisma, not someone in between, but rather someone ... (you fill-in the dots). Guess someone who doesn't belong to anywhere.

 

That being said, my loniness has never bothered and I have always find a shortcut to avoid social scenes. In fact I find strength in my solitude. But now that I am out of the college, I realize that my inapt social skills are coming to hunt me. Don't get me wrong, I would still rather spend my free time (which is almost all the time) by myself. But now that I am being pushed into the real world, I can clearly see how my lack of social interaction is preventing me from even getting a job which is eating me alive inside out which is basically my MAIN concern. I know by now you saying go out and network with this creature called human but I think my problem is deeper than the simple solution presented.

 

When I am in a non-fimiliar situation, knowing someone scrutinizing my every move, watching me closely to perform a task, or having to answer a stranger's question, my entire body and mind shut down. Here what I go through if I encounter any of the above scenarios: My entire face starts boiling. I can literally feel my skin is blistering and abviously my head turns to a boiled beetroot. My vision becomes blurry and voices are choked in the blackhole. Due to my excessive exercise, I don't have a palpilating heart beat but my breathing is hindered and I can hardly breathe and at this point you can imagine not a single word can find its way out of my mouth. My mouth fails to produce enough saliva and it becomes a dry desert. If that is not enough, my hands and feet become ice cold and all this often follows by a sever shivering in the chest region. But to make matters worse, I start having uncontrollable spasm at the back of my neck which can be deadly painful. And sometimes even feel nauseous and sick to my stomatch which prevents me from intaking food.

 

As you can see, once I reach this stage, I basically shoot blanks and my brain loses its functionality. I cannot think, put together a meaningful sentence, or even hold myself straight. It is a painful ordeal and from what I described, you can understand why I would do EVERYTHING in my power to avoid puting myself in such situations. The aftermath is not easy either; I am constantly depressed and feeling inadequate. With such attacks, I am completely paralyze to input or output anything even for days to come.

 

Don't get me wrong, I can appear normal when I am doing my shopping, visiting someone I know, or performing a routine task. It is just that when it comes to having to answer or making an intellectual conversation with a stranger (even via phone call), that's when my entire world just crushing down on me.

 

My question is whether these symptoms qualify me as someone with social anxiety disorder and if so how sever my case is? I am desparate to resolve my problem and find my way in this world. I am the first person to admit that this is holding me back in life. I am completely aware of the negative consequences which this may convey in my life. I am constantly thinking about suicide and people around me (mostly family) don't convceive how serious my condition is and rather helping me, repeartedly badgering me with condescending remarks. I don't know how much more of this I can take. I have thought about going to a therapist (or should I say "the rapist") but I just can't propel myself to ask for a help.

[OmegaMan]

Hi,

 

Well going to see a therapist should be the first thing you might want to do. Those physical symptoms provide more than enough reasons to see a therapist.

 

I could start asking you questions and all that. However, seeing a therapist to which you will be able to explain your situation face to face is a first step. Keep us updated.

 

Etienne

[Mr. Cactus]

Well I think you are at a stage where you do need to push past that barrier and ask for help. What you are describing is actually not as outlandish as you think. But what is quite different is the severity of the problems that you are experiencing. And it's the fact that they are controlling you rather than the other way around.

 

I would probably suggest that you talk to your Doctor about it, who then can consider whether you should be referred to a therapist. It's sad therapists have gotten a poor reputation in the public eye, because they can actually be quite helpful).

 

Anyway, there is also a good book that covers a lot of the problems you have described and ways to use "self help" to combat them. It's called "The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook" (don't be put off by the title - it is far more comprehensive than the title suggests). Its by Edmund J. Bourne, Ph. D., published by New Harbinger.

[shademan]

I don't believe in therapy nor i believe you need help

 

The human's grey matter is so powerfull , controling your mind is easy but

 

applying is the tough part , you are now like a battery , recharging ,

 

observing everything around you , people fear the silent and the

 

observer , for that kind of being knows everything while others can't get to

 

him/her , you chose your own way , I believe in the Human Self

 

INDIVIDUALITY SHALL PREVAIL AND UNITY SHALL BE BROKEN.

[Sn0man]

Sounds to me like you have panic attacks. These are common, and lead to many other problems like social anxiety disorder, agoraphobia etc. and complete withdrawl from society for fear, not of the situation, but of having another panic attack. This in turn causes depression and worse problems (like suicidal thoughts). It can be debilitating. I know this because, I too, have panic attacks.

 

You might want to talk to a Doctor about Paxil or Zoloft. I can't say for sure it'll help, but it might. Your Dr. might also prescribe something called Lorazepam. It's a, well, kind of a tranqilizer. You take a little pill everytime you feel a panic attack coming on, just put it under your tongue and it will settle you down before the attack becomes debilitating and you have to leave the situation.

 

Maybe something you should look into. My $0.02

 

Good Luck,

 

Sn0man