Online relationships are the devil

[HRTexas]

This is my second time atempting an online realtionship, the first time wen't pretty well but ended because neither of us were willing to close the distance between us. How are things diffrent now you might ask, well Im a lil older and much more willing to go that extra mile now, at least for this girl I am. But, after telling her my feelings and how much she means to me. Ive found myself in that place that no guy wants to be in "Your my best friend, that is all" /sigh. Atm Im trying to convince myself that this is not over, that there is still hope that I can find a way into her heart as she has mine. But its hard, what Im asking for here though is this. Should I continue prusuing her? Or am I just seting myself up for more heart ache.

[bedokat]

maybe it is a good thing that she thinks of you as her best friend. my boyfriend is my best friend. no he WAS my best friend, then he was my boyfriend and he still is my best friend. i think you should just give her time to realize how good you are. have you ever met her? it may be hard for her to think of you as something other than a friend if you haven't met her.

[HRTexas]

Well no I have not met her yet, Im seriously considering doing that now. Im just praying that the idea won't freak her out or anything. I just feel that I have ruined everything I could have hoped for by telling her how I feel now.

[geyser92]

hi!

 

well, i know what you mean about the online relationship thing. I have been in that situation countless times, and i guess i've been there more often than i've been in a situation with someone who lives nearby. The one difference between your situation and some of mine is that i met those people first. One girl, i met at a one-day workshop thing, we were really friendly to each other, exchanged screen names, and thus began my obsession for at least a year. i told her how i felt, and she responded well for a while, but eventually everything sort of died. I never got to see her again, but i still talk to her once in a while.

 

To tell you the truth, i have given up on the long-distance internet relationships thing. I guess that i've decided that emails and instant messages simply dont compare to real live interaction. I can't seem to express myself in writing, especially lightning-quick IM's, as i can speaking. I also can't really get to know someone as well on the internet as i can by interacting with them. That's how i look at it.

 

But i dont think that you should give up on this girl. I doubt that you have sufficiently freaked her out enough ( ) to make her get upset if you ask to see her. Either way, it is definitely worth a try. hehe, the nice thing about internet relationships is that if she does respond badly to you asking to meet her, it's not such a huge problem, since you probably won't ever see her again. The emotional impact on you will of course be great, but i am positive that in the long run everything will work out for you.

 

I hope i've helped you out a bit... good luck!

[HRTexas]

Thanks guys this is helping Im just trying to get over the impact atm and figure out what to do next.

[cs20thcenturyfox]

To tell you the truth, i have given up on the long-distance internet relationships thing. I guess that i've decided that emails and instant messages simply dont compare to real live interaction. I can't seem to express myself in writing, especially lightning-quick IM's, as i can speaking. I also can't really get to know someone as well on the internet as i can by interacting with them. That's how i look at it.

 

Ughhh, that's so true. Maybe you should just give her some time. I'm not too familiar with online romances but I guess if you really want something to work, it can. Hang in there man . Good luck.

[SwingFox]

Hi HRTexas,

 

Welcome to eNotalone.com and thank you for coming to us with your message. I DO believe in on-line relationships and I think they can work. I have seen actual examples of things like that working. Of course, centuryfox is right, too, the interaction isn't as good as the 'real life' thing, but phones do solve a lot of those problems.

 

I believe, though, that an on-line relationship will only work if you work with a plan. A plan that eventually will bring you 'together forever' (Oh man, I am such a romantic... *grins*). In certain cases I have seen things work like that. One of my best friends in Belgium (Europe) actually lives with someone from Seattle, USA ... when there's a 'will' there is a 'way'.

 

I wish good luck and happiness to all the romances and lovers

 

~ SwingFox ~

[DaniChris]

Hi - Sincerely, as a woman, every time I have ever said, "Your're my best friend, that is all", I meant it. There was not enough interest/chemistry/attraction from my end, even though I genuinely liked the other person. Sometimes you enjoy the attention from a man and you keep the relationship going because you're lonely, but you know deep in your heart that he is not "the one". I would not keep pursuing her and declaring your feelings. Actually, I would take a huge step back from the relationship.

 

Online relationships - I did some online dating and met the most wonderful man in the world a year ago. Unfortunately, this man decided ultimately, two months after I moved my children and myself to be with him, that he was unable to devote the attention he wanted to his own 4 children while working so much to try and maintain our place too, plus child support. It is the greatest tragedy of my life, truly, because we were absolutely wonderful together. But anyway, good relationships can and do develop. Mine ended in heartache, unfortunately, but I would not write off online relationships at all. I might consider moving your attentions in another direction, though. Maybe give her some time, but often the "friend" feeling is permanent, I'm sorry to say.

[CrazyKing]

Yuck, I hate online relationships...

 

I made a terrible mistake recently - I told a girl that I like her by using e-mail... We chatted a bit... But now!!! She ignores me and now I also ignore her, and it looks like we'll forget what has happened... It feels dumb to see her each day...

 

Yo ladies & gentleman, don't start online relationships...

[Miss_Angel]

Thats the lamest thing I have ever heard (points to above posting) -- I have read all the previous postings as well, and I would have to agree whole-heartly with the others....Especially Dani, when she said, as a female that when a woman says she wants to be friends, this is usually the case, and we mean it.

 

As far as online relationships go...I have mixed feelings about them. I think its a great way to get to know a person playtonically...One of my best friends I've met through online chatting, but he's not my only friend....I think online relationships can work with both sides agree to and make a commitment... I think it takes a lot of trust as well. Its better to be friends first and have nothing to lose and finally meet, then decide to move your relationship to the next level, then to be in love and be heartbroken over a situation you have no control over. Life goes on. Whether your there or not.

[SwingFox]

Nice words, Miss Angel ... well said!

 

I do believe in on-line relationships, as well. I think it's a great way to meet people. Sure enough, it requires some planning when you would like to get together ... especially, if you have plans to be together forever, but basically I think it's doable. Commitment, trust and honesty will do the rest.

 

~ SwingFox ~

[Gilgamesh]

I also agree with Swingfox and Miss Angel.

 

I also believe that online relationships can work, but you must not forget the goal, and that is to be together someday, I think of the internet only as a communications tools, just a way to for someone to locate and contact someone that your interested in, but once you get past that stage, eventually physical contact and experiences should follow.

 

this is where many online relationships fail, they either go on way too long without real world contact, or sometimes one of the two really had no intentions of going beyond the "online" companionship and just leads the other on, or neither one wants to move.

 

But if both parties are commited, and are serious, then the net can be a great tool to find someone and really get to know them from the inside.