My family does not like my boyfriend

[bettyboo432]

i've been with my boyfriend for a year now and things between us moved very fast pretty much from the first month, we moved in together 9something ive never done) i fell for him and wanted to take a chance. we have had a lot thrown at us in the short space of time we have been together, and this has resulted in many arguments, mostly due to stress and frustration.

 

it has now got to the point where my family are very angainst him, no matter what i try to explain they blame him for every argument and for a lot of the issues.

 

at the moment im feeling really torn, i hate feeling that im dissapointing my friends and family and i can see that they dont agree at all with my choice to be with him, however i love him so much and i cant walk away from this, i feel that it could work between us, we perhaps need a fresh start, i just wanted to know from impartial views what the thoughts are on this, i dont know if im being silly to stay in this situation and fight for it, it almost feels like i have to chose, i feel that as long as im with him my feeling are going to dissaprove and be dissapointed in me.

 

Thanks

[Hoagy]

Just remember that you can always get another boyfriend; you can't get a new family.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

What were the fights about? Sounds like your family is concerned about your well-being? How does this guy treat you?

[Ms Darcy]

Were you running to your family and telling them about arguments between you and him?

[bettyboo432]

the fights have been about all sorts of things, there was a period where he was out of work so the lack of money was putting a strain on things, his sister also was diagnosed with breast cancer about 3 months into the relationship and that was really stressful for him. the arguments have become worse, to the point where he does say some bad things, when everything is great he's amazing, he does do what he can to treat me well.

 

im not living with him anymore, i moved out a few months back and we see eachother only at weekends now due to the distance, we live about an hour or so apart, this is helping in terms of the quality of the time we spend together, but in terms of my family and friends, im starting to feel like i have to hide the realtionship from them, i hate it, and i dont really know what to do to make the situation better

[bettyboo432]

i wasnt telling them everything, but yes a few times when ive been angry or upset ive called my sister or one of my friends and perhaps i shouldnt have done, but that's what most people would do, just to get some advice. i suppose that's where i went wrong.

[Ms Darcy]

i wasnt telling them everything, but yes a few times when ive been angry or upset ive called my sister or one of my friends and perhaps i shouldnt have done, but that's what most people would do, just to get some advice. i suppose that's where i went wrong.

 

Well that's why. If you have issues with your bf, best to work it out with him then angrily telling your family member what's going on. That will taint their opinion of him.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

i wasnt telling them everything, but yes a few times when ive been angry or upset ive called my sister or one of my friends and perhaps i shouldnt have done, but that's what most people would do, just to get some advice. i suppose that's where i went wrong.

 

I don't think it is wrong that you needed to vent your frustration with the way your boyfriend was behaving. I don't think it is good to keep it in. It sounds like your boyfriend was going through a rough time and he was lashing out at you. Have you talked to him about it?