My girlfriend Parents truly hate me

[serg407]

okay I'll get to the point here, I've been dating this girl for sometime now there is some age difference she is 18 and I'm 22 we meet in college and we are very much in love we are very happy together, my mom and my aunt like her a lot, but my girlfriend's parents never really like me because they think I'm sort of a player and her mom is very superficious since she went to some tarot card reader and told her that she will finish college but with a child so I guess she really freaked out there well to make matters worse the other day her mom found us in bed together not in the act but we were naked so **** really hit the fan there, I thought her mom would take away her cellphone and laptop ground her and thats about it, and you know with time the trust will come back again but her mom went a step further by pulling her out of college and prohibiting her to go to college and instead to work at her company now thats extreme, there is no excuse for what we did, I am ashamed, embarrassed, I wanted to come back to her house and confront her parents and tell them how sorry I am and embarrassed and somewhat guilty I feel. It went so far that even her family went to her house to try to talk her mom out of doing something so extreme and as of this writing nothing has worked I don't know what else to do any advice on how to deal with something like that... anything please

thank you

[disneyfan]

Legally, she is an adult. She's 18 years old. She can do whatever she wants. Let her know that she can always come live with you. Her mother obviously has some serious mental issues, pulling her daughter out of college! That was ridiculously stupid! Does she expect her daughter to work at that company forever. No, you need to sit down with your girlfriend and have a serious talk with her. Where does she see herself in 10 years? Where do you see yourself? Are you going to start a life together? If so, you need to break her out of this unhealthy relationship she has with her overbearing mother. Time for the baby to leave the nest!

[morrowrd]

These are controlling parents, and theres nothing you can do about it. You are both adults, in an adult relationship, and its normal that sex would be a part of that. The problem is something only your girlfriend can handle. I don't believe an apology is in order, you did nothing wrong and all you'd be doing is groveling, and honestly, it will get you no where. Any guy she's with, it would be the same story...all you can do is be there for your girlfriend, available. She is the one who has to set the boundaries, moving out would be a step.

 

Here's a thought - are you on your own? If so, offer to move her in. By the way, a four year age difference is nothing...she's legal. My girlfriend is 17 years younger than me. She's legal, and the best girlfriend I've ever had.

[serg407]

My girlfriend has always downplayed her mother craziness, I don't know why if it was out of fear that I would get scarred and run away (which I wouldn't) or embarrassment but from what her cousins tell me is that she has a trauma since all her mom's sisters got pregnant around 17-20 (and they were 5) including the mother so its understandable her fear, but her reaction of pulling her out of college is something that is so radical that pulling her out of college, making her buy the plan B and making her take it its very out of line. and in one of the last conversations I had with her before she cut off the internet (she also that) is that I shouldn't even get close because she will go as far as calling the cops on me. Never in a million years I thought her mom would react in such a extreme and ridiculous way. but I wouldn't leave her for the world she means the world to me

[annie24]

that is really crazy. especially since women who have a college education typically have children later than women who do not go to college!! your gf is an adult. she can make her own choices now.

[meoww]

If your girlfriend's parents pulled her out of school against her wishes, she has bigger fish to fry than their dissaproval of your relationship. That's pretty much abuse. Is there anyway you can sit down with her parents and maybe your parents or some outside party to discuss trying to make this relationship work without family drama. Her parents are being very destructive and damaging. If they are at least somewhat reasonable you might find a way to compromise and at the very least get your gf back im school. They have no right to do that to her. She is an individual, not their property despite being dependent on them. (Don't say that to them though, that'll just make things much worse.)

 

I know you really care about her but she needs to get back in school pronto so she has a chance to become an independent adult. I think you have two main options. She can break up with you so that she can at least graduate from college and get on her own two feet eventually. During that time she can see if there is any way she can pay for college without her parent's money. Then you guys could get back together within a year or two. The other option is that you support her in getting away from her parents now. This is a very dangerous situation in my opinion. It is going to drive a wedge between you two if she has to give up her future to be with you.

 

Please put your girlfriend's future first, if you really care about her. That is more important than your relationship that may or may not last. I can't stress that enough.

 

Also, don't forget to be good to yourself too. If this situation is too much stress for you to handle, you have the choice to get out too. Just be upfront and don't play any games if it comes to that. You both deserve to be happy.

 

If you want to be together, you are both going to have to find a way to deal with this issue and all the consequences that come along with it. I know it isnt fair, but her parents know they have the power as long as she is under their roof. You can try to work it out with them, but they might not change and if that is the case, you need to be aware.