Help copin after Long term relationship

[Looptd]

Any advice for someone who just was blindsided by a breakup after 7 years and thought we were happy together. Now I find out less than 2 months away and she's seeing someone. I am angry and sad and don't know where to turn.

The only good thing to this is it gave me closure from the "I need space" and to "do it on my own" BS. She was a coward and couldn't be honest.

Now I wonder if I can't trust this girl I grew up with and gave everything too, who can I trust. How can I ever get back to the point I was at 3 months ago when I was ready to marry her, with anyone else. This girl ruined me. And all I can do is hope for Karma in my misery.

[LovesMusic]

Any advice for someone who just was blindsided by a breakup after 7 years and thought we were happy together. Now I find out less than 2 months away and she's seeing someone. I am angry and sad and don't know where to turn.

The only good thing to this is it gave me closure from the "I need space" and to "do it on my own" BS. She was a coward and couldn't be honest.

Now I wonder if I can't trust this girl I grew up with and gave everything too, who can I trust. How can I ever get back to the point I was at 3 months ago when I was ready to marry her, with anyone else. This girl ruined me. And all I can do is hope for Karma in my misery.

 

Your thought process is completely understanding. I have was with a girl for an extended period of time (5+ years) and the same thing happened to me. Though she is not dating anyone right now it doesn't change the fact she is gone. We have been broken up over a year now and eventually she will start dating someone. It's my opinion that part of the "learning process" in a break up is learning that investing so much of your emotional stability on someone else's shoulders is not healthy. It's not the way we thought of love growing up but it is how relationships are. She most likely will not last with this new fellow. It's extremely important for your own well being to do everything to better yourself in this time. If she is going to come back that will be a huge turn on. This is nothing anyone wants to hear but it is also important to know there is nothing you could have done to change the outcome. IF you weren't fighting all the time, cheating or abusing each other then this is something she had in her own mind. Maybe she needed "to know" you were the one she wants forever by seeing how it is like on the other side of the fence. It is not fair but I think women do this as men do too. That does not mean she will be back, she may want to be with this new guy forever, but everything that shines is not always gold. Their relationship will eventually tarnish as yours did and she will be left with deciding, which tarnished relationship would I rather stick with. Regardless she is gone for the time being, and ensuring your well being should be your top priority because when all is said and done, you are the one who has to live with yourself, whether she comes back or not.

[Supersarahp]

Hey! My husband walked out on me completely out of the blue 10 weeks ago. We were together for 13 years - practically childhood sweethearts and have 3 children. So yes I feel your pain. It's horrendous.

 

Check out my thread if you get a chance

 

Not sure if it will help at all but at least it might show you that you're not alone (no pun intended - name of website doh)

 

 

[Grace696]

Hi Looptd,

 

I understand the feelings you are going through. There is no easy way out of this, sadly, but the good news is that it DOES get better and you will get through this. I know because I have. Some things that helped me:

 

- Going NC

- Just focusing on getting through each day and trying not to get freaked out about the long-term picture

- Meditating

- Yoga

- Posting on here and reading lots of threads

- Counselling

 

Hang in there!

[Fraggle]

It's really tough and your mind is unable to compute what has happened. From happy to cr*ppy in a very short space.

 

Not much you can do other than try and take in the information whilst looking after yourself,and being with friends and family to soften the blow.

 

It is a shock to the system and you will need time and more time to try and comprehend it. Along the way there may well be twists and turns that make things more complex and difficult than anticipated.

 

So many say it because its true... One step at a time one day at a time... And ENA is a great support network.