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Hope everyone is having a nice week.


I'll try to keep this brief, so here are the important details. As always, I appreciate the insight.


-Been out of the dating scene for a while (2 year relationship, bad break-up, spent past year rebuilding)

-Met a girl 3 nights ago (Sat.) outside a bar, closing time after a fun dance party. I actually interrupted her to bum a smoke and then ended up talking for half an hour after her roommate left.

-We hit it off and she ended up staying over. We were both pretty drunk & fooled around a little, but not without establishing that this was a very random and isolated occurrence. I could tell that we both felt a little deeper connection than just a "one-night stand".

-The next day we both oversleep and have to rush out the door. I drop her off at her car and we kiss goodbye.

-After much consulting with friends and google, I waited 36 hours before calling her. So I call her Tuesday evening and her tone hinted that she was happy I called. I invited her to the art museum the following afternoon but she had been busy working on a group project (fourth year advertising student) and hadn't slept the night before. We decided Thurs. might work better and then I had to hang up because I was enjoying some outdoors time with friends.


So that's where I am now. It seems we both are having a very busy week, but it has been super unproductive for me because I've been so hung up on thinking about her. Should I be texting her or contacting her in any way, or just wait and call on Thursday to see if she'd be available for a date?


The night we met, she told me to follow her on instagram so after I called her yesterday I "liked" a couple of her photos. One of them she later changed to her FB profile photo. However, she has yet to follow my instagram or accept my FB invitation so I'd think if she wanted to chat she would have opened up to me on social media networks. I'm just thinking too much into it now, But then again, she posted another photo on instagram today, looking down at her shoes with the caption "waiting".


I know our date is in less than 48 hours, but do I stay kind of mysterious and not contact her until then? Or since I already called her on Tuesday, is she expecting me to text her?



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Not contacting her is a good idea, if only to show that you have a life that isn't all about her. However, dropping one liners doesn't really hurt the situation either. If she likes you she won't feel threatened by them. If you guys already fooled around I have to tell you that things will be much different than if you hadn't. Mainly because situations like that seem to hit brick walls because there is no mystery in the relationship.


However, if you take things slow from this point and really try to get to know her I think you should be fine. If you guys end up sleeping together that night, I think she is just interested in the sex and not much more. At least that's my opinion, heh.

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Thanks for the response, Romanticism.


I texted her today to see if she was still free to go out tomorrow night. I read the first few words of her response, "So, I really ****ed up and I have a boyfriend." Weak ****, man, especially after already agreeing to go out on another date with me. Well, you lose some, you lose some heh.

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Oh man. That sucks dude. What I will say is to forget about her asap. It will be way too much trouble to deal with if you keep pursuing her.


TRUST ME. I wrote that in all caps because I was practically mashing my keyboard as I typed it. I was in a situation with a girl who was dating a guy, and a long story short we had an affair. She didn't really have feelings for him, and I didn't give her the ultimatum I should of given her.


All I am trying to say is that it put me through a lot of pain and heart ache. You seem like a nice enough guy to meet other women easily, use that because you would rather start fresh with someone then start with that type of baggage.

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I agree. My word-for-word response was "Awesome. Well good luck with that. You have my number" then deleted her from my contacts. Still would never get involved with her, I have no time or respect for cheaters. Guess it's back to the online dating zoo.


Once again, I appreciate the help.

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Haha yeah, I guess a resolution was imminent one way or the other. I guess the main purpose of this thread was to better understand the whole waiting period/mystery element in dating for young adults. From college on, I've gone from one serious long-term relationship to the next in a matter of months so haven't really played the "dating game" since highschool. I think I have a better grasp of it all now, so this thread was indeed helpful.

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