loving a abusive person

[sasha12]

Is it possible to love someone that abuses you? Is it normal to think that some day the abuse will go away?

[ayekasong]

Is it normal to think that? Yea, probably. I think most people in an abusive relationships believe the abuse will go away. Is it healthy? Of course not. Someone who truly cares about you will not abuse you; if they do, they need to seek help.

 

It is possible to love anyone, even someone who hurts you. Actually I think some people stay in these relationships because any sort of love or affection shown is like a complete triumph - kind of rewarding in a twisted sense.

[dirtbubble]

It is normal to imagine the abuse will go away. Amazingly, people who abuse are like broken robots who cannot be repaired by love, especially by someone who loves them. As long as they have a subject to abuse, they see no need to change, because the urge to abuse is fulfilled.

 

It seems like we look for a carthartic moment when we can make the abuser see the wrong they do. But that is an illusion. There will be no magical redemption. Better to face the reality and get away with dignity and health, find someone non-abusive to love.

[haylie23]

It is normal. You can't help who you fall for. Except you need to know whats best for you. Its not good for you to be with someone who abuses you. You need to take care of yourself and not be with someone who is disrespectful. It will ruin you.

[diamondangel777]

I agree with the fact that someone could fall in love with an abusive person. In fact i am that person. Sometimes the lip service they give and the illusion in your head makes you believe that the abuse will eventually stop, and he or she will just open their eyes one day and be better. I also think it goes deeper than that. I believe a persons background also determines how a person will let their partner treat them. For me i saw abuse, i had an abusive mother, my dad was an alcoholic they fought, my mother had numerous boyfriend after my parents divorced that would abuse her, and sub-consiciously i think what drew me to my ex was that the drama and abuse was the only think constant in my life.

 

In the beginning it was different, he was different. Once the abuse started however, i didnt want to face the fact that i was ACTUALLY being ABUSED. I mean i ALWAYS said my mother was foolish for stayin with idiots that treated her like crap, and here i am doing the same thing.

 

Its a hard thing, because sometimes when you've had such a troubled life where "Love" was really not Love its hard to comprehend when you get in a relationship. You think well if he stays and does thing good sometimes well he does really love me. But the sad thing is, is that abusers don't know the true meaning of love, when they think of love they think of control and its hard for someone who wants complete control to actually and truly love someone. Especially if their lives weren't filled with actual love also.

 

Thats just my opinion

Liv

[cleverme123]

It's easy to fall in love with an abusive person. They start out with a sad story that makes you feel bad for them and you think you can help. Then it gets worse over time and their anger issues become control over you. It starts as a cyclone of anger and hate and then becomes hitting, spitting, cussing and what not. It is complete chaos trying to break out of theses relationships. (take it from someone who knows) If you get out early there may not be problems, if you wait around you will get a guilt trip and no matter how hard you try you won't be able to go. Don't do it to yourself, it's dangerous and scary. If you decide to leave you have to go quickly and quietly, you tell no one you just do it. You threaten them to leave and they will make you feel horrible and you will want to work it out. It never ends.

[FiveOGrrl]

TAKE CARE OF YOU.