Bad break up need help

[Ajr1213]

My ex and I have been seeing eachother for a year and her best friend of 17 years father committed suicide and my ex did not know her father and this was her surrogate dad. She was very upset and said she wanted to spend all her time with her best friend so I had not seen her. I went and saw her after the funeral and she said how happy I made her and that I was the best thing that ever happened to her, 2 days later I get this text "heyy, so I have been thinking about a lot that's been going on in my life & I just need to figure things out for myself, you have not done anything wrong this is all about me and how fcked up my head is right now, this is probably the last thing I want to do but I just feel like I need some time & space to figure it out and make myself happy again" it then proceeded to us talking a few days later where she insisted that this was something she wasn't going to regret and that she didn't love me although I have told her that I loved her whole heartedly, also she insisted this was something she HAD to do which she repeated like a broken record. We had not argued before this it came out of nowhere. I am a complete wreck. All I wanted to do was help her and she's pushing me away. I've never told anyone besides my mother that I loved them. I feel hollow and in shock I've never loved and hated someone so much at the same time, these are all new feelings for me. I miss her and want her back. I am seeking guidance and advice I feel so alone. Please help.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I am sorry you are going through this. Sometimes people who are grieving the loss of someone close to them will push their partner away. There is really not much you can do except leave her be. Also, be very careful that she doesn't start contacting you to use you as an emotional crutch..because often dumpers do that and yet have no intention of resuming the relationship. Sadly there is not much hope I can give you in this situation regarding getting back together with her...but what I can say is that over time it will get easier. You just have to keep focusing on your life and forget about her.

[cantgiveup]

Hey there I know you must feel like **** right now, many of us are in the same boat if that's any comfort. I can say that when my ex left me I read a whole lot of "get your ex back" stuff on the web and most all of it says to go NC right away. I'd have to say that's what I should have done because I tried calling and begging and pleading and all that and I can tell you it doesn't work and you just feel worse after doing it. I know it's the last thing you want to hear but like CAD said you need to focus on your life. Try to workout, eat healthy, keep your place clean, do stuff with friends, etc.

 

Don't call her, if she wants to talk she'll call you. Maybe if after a month or so she hasn't called and your feeling better and have decided you want but don't need her back, then you might try to contact her. But do not do it if you don't have your head on straight yet or it will backfire.

 

Good luck man,I hope it all works out for you!