ex has broken NC and wants to catch up... how to prepare myself??

[james31]

Hi all...

 

So basically i was with my ex for 9 months, i moved from another state after meeting her whilst i was home for christmas and we pretty much fell in love straight away, the relationship was amazing and i feel like she really is the love of my life.

 

We broke up 6 weeks ago, we were getting distant and she wanted a break, i didnt handle it well and i ended up pushing her away and she told me to stay out of her life, blocked on facebook ect.

 

I have been on NC for the last few weeks, she always said that she felt strongly about us being friends and that we would catch up when she was ready, she told my mum that she still loves me and cares about me but we were moving in different circles.

 

Anyways... so out of the blue at the start of the week she messaged me asking how i was and whether i still wanted to catch up sometime in the next week or so.

 

I was in shock, really nervous as i love her very much and want her back.

I ended up replying 45 minutes later amd we texted for about 1 & 1/2 hours.

We decided on a time to catch up next week and left it at that... tonight she messaged me again telling me she was praying for me and my family as my grandfather is in hospital on life support.

We started messaging and everything was going well, i ended up calling her and she answered.

 

She was in good spirits, was quite comfortable talking to me about uni times, courses, new job, and a holiday she went on a few weeks back.

It was nice to hear her voice and i confirmed whether we would still catch up next week and she is more than happy to see me.

 

 

She never once said she didnt love me and was very distraught when we broke up, but was adament that she needed space ect and i couldnt be in her life, yet she insisted that we would be friends and catch up when she is ready.

I love her... simple as that, i want her back and even though she has torn my heart out i have already forgiven her and have moved on with my life.

 

Am i in a good position to rekindle the love we shared? I have been telling myself to give her space and let her approach me and it seems to be working but i am scared that us catching up will end up as us just being friends, i couldnt handle that and do not intend to let her think it is possible.

 

Whats my next move?

What is she thinking?

Why is it important for us to stay friends?

 

Any advice would be much appreciated, i truelly love this girl and i cannot ruin everything again and set myself back, i have come too far.

 

Cheers

[dynamtiz]

Hey all I will say is good luck in in the same position but bit more complicated

 

One thing I would do differently is no pressure or talk of the relationship etc and see how things go !

 

I made the mistake and it drove her away were still talking etc but o drove a massive wedge between us by keep ongoing about the way I felt she felt etc ... In still in touch now and just playing it cool got nothing to lose .. Keep me posted

[SapphireNoir10]

If you want to do this then please keep it cool, don't bring up the relationship...just feel it out and see how it goes

 

I wish you the best.

 

You'll be able to tell soon enough what she wants. If it's friendship I'd probably steer clear of it, go no contact and try and heal. If she want's to reconcile thats great

[indea08]

I've always tried to stay friends with ex's because at one point in my life, that person was my best friend. I always felt that just because we weren't in love with each other anymore, that didn't mean we couldn't still enjoy each other as friends. Honestly though, I always made sure to wait to pursue friendship until I knew there were no feelings left on either side. I didn't want to lead him on I he had feelings, and I I had feelings I knew I wasn't ready for friendship. My guess is that she is ready to be friends and "catch up" because her feelings are gone, and if you still have feelings it's going to be a red flag to her. I could be wrong--maybe she does want to reconcile. But this is just how I have always played it..