I like this girl...what to do...

[findingmeandyou]

A few months ago, I met this girl through friends, and we went on a few dates. I always had a nice time with her, but one odd thing was that we were usually very shy around each other as far as showing affection. I'm not sure what it was. I felt like she wasn't all there mentally. She seemed to be really into me at first, but then got a little flakey with setting dates. I don't know what happened, and I got awkward. I told her how I felt, and she said nothing. I stopped talking to her for a month.

 

Now, we've connected again. I initiated it, and I told her that I just wanted to be friends, because we got along, and it seemed easier. Last night, she came by for dinner. We talked for a few hours about ourselves, and it seemed so much different and relaxed. I felt like I was actually getting to know her. She initially surprised me. She had invited me to go to a party with her, but I declined and said I just wanted to relax at home, so come by when you are finished. I was expecting her to stay at the party much longer, but she stayed for maybe 30 minutes and came over. She brought me this nice potted plant, we talked, and she left. When she got home, she sent me an email saying she really enjoyed talking to me, and hopes to see me soon.

 

Trying to figure out what to do, because when I saw her again, I felt so attracted to her, but I already told her I just wanted to be friends. For all I know, she only thinks of me as a friend this time, but I can't help wondering if bringing the plant and the email afterwards might be a sign of more.

 

Part of me wants to tell her how I am feeling, but I'm afraid to rush things and screw it up, but also what if I wait too long, and she thinks that I only like her as a friend.

 

What to do...

[MikNomis]

I personally think it's friendly. I think she seems more into you but it's actually just her being more comfortable since the dating pressure is gone. On top of that, she knows you're into her so that also is a factor in how she interacts with you. Knowing someone likes you but being free of any dating obligation makes for some rather confusing signals.

[findingmeandyou]

Gosh, I hope it is more than that. She had asked me to go to a dance class with her tonight, but I declined. I felt shy, and didn't want to rush into spending alot of time with her. I just told her that I had something else to do. She comes off as a very friendly person, but I don't know her well enough yet to know if this is just her being friendly, or if it is more than that. Problem is if we both remain shy - I'm not going to find out!

 

I think my plan is to let her come to me. I haven't asked her to get together again. I'm interested to see if she asks me to do something again, and what that might be like if I go ahead with it.

 

I should not have told her that I just want to be friends. I should have left it open, asked her to get together, and just see what develops.

[vesper]

I think you need to tell her how you feel .

[findingmeandyou]

I don't know how I could. I told her a few weeks ago that I just wanted to be friends, and my head got screwed up when I saw her in person again. How do I do that and not come accross like a lunatic?

[Natasha24]

I don't think you should tell her anything just yet. She might think you're playing with her feelings. "Let's date. Wait, I only want to be friends. Actually, I want to date you."

 

I suggest hanging out with her a few more times, but subtly let her know that you're interested in more. Flirt with her, touch her arm, etc. See if she does the same.

[findingmeandyou]

I don't think you should tell her anything just yet. She might think you're playing with her feelings. "Let's date. Wait, I only want to be friends. Actually, I want to date you."

 

I suggest hanging out with her a few more times, but subtly let her know that you're interested in more. Flirt with her, touch her arm, etc. See if she does the same.

 

That makes sense...that will also allow it to progress naturally, and it also gives me an opportunity to read her and see where her head is going.

[onthisday]

Maybe she's just being friendly? Or not. You said she seemed to be really into you at first, so maybe she's just too shy showing her feelings for you, before. When you told her how you felt and she said nothing, maybe she's just shocked. Maybe she didn't expected that you'll tell her how you feel, so she was speechless. But then you stopped talking to her for a month. So she didn't bothered talking to you too, or didn't mind approaching you. Until you initiated to have connection with her again, and this time she won't waste chances anymore.

[microha65]

I'd ask her how she feels about you, bring it up casually and it'll be a easy-ish conversation. If she likes you in a dating fashion, date her. If not, now you know. If not and she asks how you feel about her, tell her the truth but also tell her that you understand, and it's not a big deal. This way you'll find out for sure.

[findingmeandyou]

I texted with her a little bit tonight. I had initiated it. She reminded me to the water plant, which was cute, but I really didn't feel anything from her. Didn't ask what I'm up to, mention that she wanted to see me or anything. It kind of stinks.

[Ms Darcy]

In an adult interaction you do not get upset because a person cannot read your mind and text you what you want to hear.