Should I call for 8th of March

[MonsterM]

Okay simple...we broke up almost 2 months ago,but still Im thinking to call her out of respect for Woman's day...we were together for one year after all...is it a good idea?

[SapphireNoir10]

No. I think your looking for an excuse to contact. If you are no contact it'll set you back. If she replies it might not be with what you'd like to hear or she may not respond at all.

 

However if you are over her and want to do it to be civil or regain friendship that's up to you.

[Edmund Exley]

Yep call. Its what you want to do, so do it. You've been asking for days if you should, no one here is going to change your mind. Actually why wait? Go call her right now

[MonsterM]

yes right Im calling lol...thanks

[SapphireNoir10]

Really? I hope you find what your looking for through this contact. Wish you the best.

[Edmund Exley]

Really? I hope you find what your looking for through this contact. Wish you the best.

 

I think he actually needs to experience this so he can stop guessing

[rosasnyder811]

#1- If you want them back - - stop playing the no contact game. It's ridiculous.

#2- When you DO contact them, you contact them with no pressure. This means no talk about getting back together, how they feel about you, nothing. You simply have a casual, friendly conversation.

 

If you want to contact her so bad, then do it. Just don't be needy and clingy when you do it. And definitely do not pressure. Just ask how she is doing and let her lead the conversation from there. Don't over contact, if she doesn't respond, don't keep texting/calling/messaging.

Once you feel like the conversation is stagnating, get off the phone and contact again another day.

[Edmund Exley]

Rosa - I know you mean well, but you really need to be a little more familiar with the posters before saying "If you want them back - - stop playing the no contact game. It's ridiculous" all the time which you do use a lot. No contact isnt a game to get people back. There are times when no matter what the OP wants, the other person DOESNT WANT TO BE CONTACTED.

 

Telling someone to stop being stupid and contact them when the other person clearly doesnt want contact can be bad news. I have told MonsterM to contact her simply because he has her whole relationship being a phony rebound made up in his mind, and he is driving himself insane waiting to see if its over yet and he keeps asking if he should call her. Honestly he shouldnt be contacting her at all, but the only way he is ever going to get peace of mind is to hear from her that its still not over with the new guy.

 

Every situation is different and sometimes "getting them back" isnt even an option no matter if you contact them or not.

[MonsterM]

Edmund I know you mean well...I will not call her,I will call her sister to get my stuff...then again,we always managed to talk ourselves after something bad happens.She said we can talk anyway the last time I contacted her...I think I know her much better than you do...I dont have any problem if she doesnt pick up the phone or something like that.Im mature

[Edmund Exley]

Edmund I know you mean well...I will not call her,I will call her sister to get my stuff...then again,we always managed to talk ourselves after something bad happens.She said we can talk anyway the last time I contacted her...I think I know her much better than you do...I dont have any problem if she doesnt pick up the phone or something like that.Im mature

 

Then call her

[MonsterM]

I will perhaps.Nothing can change my mind you read me well...but I have a job interview at the morning so I think this is most important am I right?

[rosasnyder811]

#1 - He never stated that she told him to leave her alone. Just because someone is with someone else doesn't mean it is permananent, and the only way he will discover that is through communication.

 

The mature and adult thing to do with an ex is to communicate with them, if for nothing else to get closure. Simply giving the silent treatment is not an effective way of getting what you want.

Yes, I'm going to keep harping on this, because it is the correct way to handle a situation with an ex.

Just because an ex doesn't want to talk at that moment, doesn't mean they won't later. If you maintain pressure free, non-annoying contact, then you have a much better chance of reconnecting than you do if you just ignore them.

 

You state I'm not familiar with the posters, but you're also making assumptions. I'm just making a blanket statement, because part of the problem around here is that so many people advocate a game over maturity. I'm offering another perspective that just happens to work. It works with getting back your ex BETTER, and if that isn't possible, it helps move the healing process forward, whereas just ignoring and dwelling prolongs it.

[rosasnyder811]

I will perhaps.Nothing can change my mind you read me well...but I have a job interview at the morning so I think this is most important am I right?

 

Your job interview has nothing to do with the relationship. You make the choice and decide what YOU think is best for this situation. Listen to the heart.

[sara-pezzini]

i am not a fan of NC, and when me and my bf were broken up i followed my own heart, gut feeling and instinct, NC would have surely had the opposite effect, i know that, as i know my own situation and my bf best, NC would have pushed him further away, so i did keep in touch, and through this casual, light and fun contact, we found out it was not over, there was still a lot of love between us and we worked it out, so i would surely never advice NC as an only option.

however using women's day sounds like a lame excuse, that would not go over well with me, but as you said, you know her and the situation best, so do what you feel is best, but i would not use 8th of march as a sort of excuse to make contact...if you want to contact her, then do so, not on any specific day.....

and yes, i have read the previous threads.....but i always think every situation is different and i hate the "rules" NC, or if he or she does not do x, y and z he or she is just not that into you and all those cliches and bull****.....every person, every relationship and every story is different and people should just try to do what feels best for them.

which is why i never asked for advice here when we broke up, knowing what everyone would advice me and also knowing better myself.....and in the end i was right, i felt it in my gut, i know him, i know our story, our love, what we have, and people who give advice here don't get all that from a post so the advice is usually general.....

[MonsterM]

Okay we ***d up a lot...I pressured her we were breaking up in a nice mature way then she called me the same day she is sick and needs medicine(My parents own a pharmacy) and I helped her and I thought it's something temporary as we had quarrels a few times before that...we had a big fight at the end and I applied the NC because anything I would say or do would be very bad...10 days later I called her she said that perhaps we can talk as an adults...and next day she doesnt pick up the phone...

[soloman9]

"The mature and adult thing to do with an ex is to communicate with them, if for nothing else to get closure."

 

The mature and adult thing to do with an ex is to respect their wishes and leave them alone.

 

I'm guessing rosa is still hoping desperately that whoever has broken up with her will respond to her constant annoying chats and faux declarations of wanting friendship.

[Doc Blaze]

Rose- you always state this non annoyance contact..sometimes that one time you contact someone can set them off..if they want space if they break up with you and not contact you for 2 months...its not OPs job to go chasing..sometimes non conact.no communication no texting for a while is what people need to realize what they want.....actions speak louder than words..in these situations i believe that people are just looking at false hope and only delaying their healing.

[lostnscared]

Don't use womans day as an excuse to call her dude. What are you going to say lol, "I know we broke up but I just wanted to wish you a happy woman's day" She'll see right through it and know that you just used it as an excuse to call her. I personally am a fan of 30 day NC. For a lot of reasons. But mainly for YOU. It helps you gather your esteem back, reflect on what went wrong, start making a life outside of that person, and it also gives that person time to reflect and do similar things. After 30 days if you REALLY need to reach out, then do so, only once, gauge what that person says and how they respond and then either go back to NC or do LC... That's just my take. I've used NC in the past and it always worked--if not to get the ex back, but to help me reflect and gather back self esteem and confidence.

 

 

Good luck though, ultimately you're going to do what you want.