bittersweet871 Posted March 4, 2013 Share Posted March 4, 2013 My ex contacted me last night. I have been NC for 3 weeks and Saturday or Sunday he deleted me on facebook. I didn’t bother to ask him why; I just left it alone thinking it was probably because I ran into his best friend on Saturday night at the bar. I almost asked his friend how he was but stopped myself and told him never mind. About 5 o’clock yesterday I get a message from him on FB asking me to please stop asking his friends about his goings on and if it was because I was afraid of running into him then perhaps I shouldn’t go out on drill weekend. I should clarify that I haven’t been out a lot since I stopped talking to him, especially on drill weekends. The reason I went out this weekend is because my friend was doing her birthday this weekend. Dinner Friday, party Saturday. Anyways, I went out Saturday night got very tipsy and wound up at a friend’s apartment. We all run in the same circle, but apparently, someone took it upon themselves to let my ex know that I had made out with someone that night. I feel bad about it. I was a mistake to kiss that guy, but it’s in the past. My ex doesn’t feel that way though. He messaged me, I got defensive then I am apparently a **** and promiscuous because I made out with a couple of dudes in the 5 months that we have been broken up. (Never mind the fact that he slept with 3 women after our breakup). The problem is that I was not ready to talk to him at this point. I told him that repeatedly, but I continually got wrapped up in our conversation. We are still bickering back and fourth as I type this and I find myself back in my old role of begging him to stay with me. Guys, I need serious tough love right now. Things are ugly and I am barely functioning at work because I am so wrapped up in what he is saying to me. Link to comment
Edmund Exley Posted March 4, 2013 Share Posted March 4, 2013 Its none of his business what you do or who you make out with. Tell him that. And stop begging for someone who doesnt want you. You are doing nothing but feeding his ego, as he destroys yours. I wish I could show all you young ladies how allowing people to treat you this way is going to effect your future relationships for a long time. Sadly, you all think this is love. Link to comment
FrenchFries Posted March 4, 2013 Share Posted March 4, 2013 Its none of his business what you do or who you make out with. Tell him that. And stop begging for someone who doesnt want you. You are doing nothing but feeding his ego, as he destroys yours. I wish I could show all you young ladies how allowing people to treat you this way is going to effect your future relationships for a long time. Sadly, you all think this is love. I 100% agree with this. Don't continue to entertain him. You don't owe him any explanation for anything you do! Link to comment
rosasnyder811 Posted March 4, 2013 Share Posted March 4, 2013 Why are you two playing the childish no contact game if you want to get back together? It's the childish games that are causing these problems, because all you two are doing is trying to hurt each other---purposely---instead of talking about things. Either talk to each other and work things out, or decide that you are done with each other and stop acting ridiculous. Link to comment
Computer Geek Posted March 4, 2013 Share Posted March 4, 2013 You shouldn't have to justify why you go out, what you do when you go out, or anything in your life to your ex. He is trying to manipulate your emotions and you need to completely cut him from your life. If he contacts you, don't reply. The fact that he removed you from facebook and then used that same medium to message you is one of the ways of him manipulating you -- he WANTS you to know he removed you. This guy is a loser and you should run far far away! You should also consider blocking him completely on facebook because I guarantee he will continue to use it as a way to manipulate you. Link to comment
Edmund Exley Posted March 4, 2013 Share Posted March 4, 2013 Why are you two playing the childish no contact game if you want to get back together? It's the childish games that are causing these problems, because all you two are doing is trying to hurt each other---purposely---instead of talking about things. Either talk to each other and work things out, or decide that you are done with each other and stop acting ridiculous. Where did you see anything about them wanting to get back together? She said she begs him to stay and he isnt. Link to comment
bittersweet871 Posted March 4, 2013 Author Share Posted March 4, 2013 Why are you two playing the childish no contact game if you want to get back together? It's the childish games that are causing these problems, because all you two are doing is trying to hurt each other---purposely---instead of talking about things. Either talk to each other and work things out, or decide that you are done with each other and stop acting ridiculous. A part of me wants that and he has said that he did too, but things are horrible now. He purposfully provokes me. I ddon't want that which is why I went NC. He messaged me last night and I thought about not responding but I caved. I told him mulitple times I wasn't ready to talk to him last night. He just kept dragging me in. Link to comment
bittersweet871 Posted March 4, 2013 Author Share Posted March 4, 2013 Where did you see anything about them wanting to get back together? She said she begs him to stay and he isnt. It's really embarresing and shameful that he makes me this way. We did the same thing on Christmas when I was walking away. It's turning into a cycle. Link to comment
bittersweet871 Posted March 4, 2013 Author Share Posted March 4, 2013 You shouldn't have to justify why you go out, what you do when you go out, or anything in your life to your ex. He is trying to manipulate your emotions and you need to completely cut him from your life. If he contacts you, don't reply. The fact that he removed you from facebook and then used that same medium to message you is one of the ways of him manipulating you -- he WANTS you to know he removed you. This guy is a loser and you should run far far away! You should also consider blocking him completely on facebook because I guarantee he will continue to use it as a way to manipulate you. I feel like he and I have been down this road before. I was seriously trying to walk away this time. Link to comment
rosasnyder811 Posted March 4, 2013 Share Posted March 4, 2013 It's clear she wants to get back together with him the way she is talking. Where did you see anything about them not wajnting to get back together? Where did you see anything about them wanting to get back together? She said she begs him to stay and he isnt. Link to comment
rosasnyder811 Posted March 4, 2013 Share Posted March 4, 2013 No contact is a mind game and abusive when it is used to get back together with someone. You two need to stop playing games and be honest with each other. If you need time away from him without talking---then tell him that. Stop ignoring him. If you two want to be together, stop acting like you don't. If you don't want to be togehter, stop doing things that show each other you are interested. When this happens, you are playing mind games with each other, it's counter productive and will eventually drive you further apart. A part of me wants that and he has said that he did too, but things are horrible now. He purposfully provokes me. I ddon't want that which is why I went NC. He messaged me last night and I thought about not responding but I caved. I told him mulitple times I wasn't ready to talk to him last night. He just kept dragging me in. Link to comment
calichick007 Posted March 4, 2013 Share Posted March 4, 2013 Rosa, have you read her backstory? Sometimes encouraging contact without doing so is unwise. This guy has done nothing but disrespect and badmouth her. I think one size fits all advice - whether encouraging NC or recon - is dangerous. Link to comment
bittersweet871 Posted March 4, 2013 Author Share Posted March 4, 2013 No contact is a mind game and abusive when it is used to get back together with someone. You two need to stop playing games and be honest with each other. If you need time away from him without talking---then tell him that. Stop ignoring him. If you two want to be together, stop acting like you don't. If you don't want to be togehter, stop doing things that show each other you are interested. When this happens, you are playing mind games with each other, it's counter productive and will eventually drive you further apart. I'm not really using it for that purpose though. I went NC because I wanted to at least stop being so bend over backwards for him. I have made it really clear with him where I want to be. He is the one that is back and fourth. I don't want to stick around if this is what I have to look forward to. So I went NC and this is what happens. Link to comment
bittersweet871 Posted March 4, 2013 Author Share Posted March 4, 2013 Rosa, have you read her backstory? Sometimes encouraging contact without doing so is unwise. This guy has done nothing but disrespect and badmouth her. I think one size fits all advice - whether encouraging NC or recon - is dangerous. I agree with that. I don't feel like my situation is the same as anyone elses. This has been a really horrible break up that has been drug out for a while. I want him, but I want the old him. The one that doesn't make me nuts. Link to comment
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