help desperately needed!!

[JD2210]

This really is just my own way of explaining to everyone why I'm going to commit suicide. I wrote a letter before and mom found it and simply did nothing. A clear cry for help and no one will. There are gashes all up my arm and no one will help me. I try and try to be happy but no matter I do I'm a failure and a disappointment to them all. My bf doesn't want me anymore, I have no job, couldn't even finish a college course, am a struggling drug addict and set on a path of self destruct. Safe to say, I'm done!

[Pirate Cat]

Please please go see a doctor and they can put you in contact with people who can help you. Not sure what area you are from but have you tried searching for local charities who specialize in drug addiction and again the can help you on the path to recovery.

Your mum not reacting to the letter does not automatically mean she does not care, it could be that she simply does not know what to do/say. My mum was the same when she discovered I was self harming.

All the negative thoughts in your head are coming from the drugs take small steps and the rest will follow. Dont worry right now about college/work etc right now the important thing is getting clean and saving your life

[laura2207]

I know how it feels to be in such a bad place that you don't think you can drag yourself out of it. I am currently living away from home at University, spending days alone in my room crying to myself and wishing things would change. I've tried to have a more positive outlook on life but I feel like there's is a lack of support in my life from friends and family. I've tried to explain to my close friends and family just how I feel but they don't have the time to listen or don't take it seriously.

However the shock of reading that letter probably left your mum with no words to say. If I suddenly found out that someone I cared about wanted to kill themselves I would be in shock and not necessarily know how to react but maybe try and talk to her about it. I know talking about how you feel is hard but sometimes it can make things allot easier.

I know you said the letter was a cry for help from your family and maybe posting this on here is another cry for help and luckily people are answering you and are willing to listen. It might be easier to talk to a stranger about how you feel rather than someone who is close to you as they can give you unbiased advice.

Sometimes you just need to step back from everything and try and focus on the good things in your life. You may not have a job now but that doesn't mean you won't get one and with the right support you will be able to get past addictions.

I'm sorry to hear about your boyfriend, maybe try talking to him about what's going on and if he's not supporting you through this difficult time then maybe he's not the right person to be with right now.

 

Only you can truly help yourself, it's going to be hard but if you take the first step to talk to someone I think it'll really help you. Don't make any rash decisions, talk to people first and look at what is worth living for as opposed to things that make you want to not be here anymore.

 

Things can always get better, try and keep smiling and talking to people around you and you'll be surprised at who will be there for you in the end (:

[thehardestpart]

You have to learn to love yourself first, that's all that matters right now. You have to pick yourself up and take baby steps to get there, def get professional help for your drug problem. You are loved although you may think otherwise. Best of luck to you

[becomingkate]

I'm so sorry that you're going through this. It sucks to feel alone!

 

The only advice I have is that your parents or boyfriend are only small pieces to the puzzle. When you're young, it's hard to understand what the heck your parents are thinking and it's hard for them to communicate effectively. Boyfriends are generally self-centered when you're young. There's a lot to deal with.

 

I guess what got me through it was leaving home. I moved out when I was 17 and moved away when I was 20, and that really helped me! I got on at a resort in the mountains where they had staff housing, and I got to meet a lot of cool people who helped me realize that I wasn't truly suicidal, I was just tired of what my life had become where I had been living.

 

Moving away (and into a safe place, where I didn't have to pay rent) helped me build up some self confidence and move on from my depressing teen years.

 

Do you have any plans for this summer? Sometimes a few plans and a little hope can do wonders...

[Angel Irulan]

I think life has some hard passages, and I'm at one right now. I have a mother who clearly likes everyone else in the family and devalues me and my feelings. I've had to deal with this one and I know how you feel. Sometimes it's like someone took a knife to your gut and just pulled downwards in a long stroke. I've got a really dysfunctional family, but decided that just because they were troubled, does not mean that I would be! And I've had some seriously hard blows because of them. I got blacksheeped, which if you don't know what means, is that you get blamed for things that are not your fault. You know, you really aren't alone. Tons of people deal with drug addiction every day. I hear you that your bf is mad at you for something, or perhaps he's just trying to use tough love to get you to leave the drugs. (Tough love is a double edged sword, I swear I believe that type of drug treatment approach is why Kurt Cobain killed himself!) Once again, you are going to have to just let the mommy behaviors and the bf behaviors roll off your shoulders.

 

You don't do this because life is fun, because it's not that much fun, right now. You do it because it's the RIGHT THING TO DO. To give yourself a future and not cave in to others bad attitudes. You are you.

 

Angel