About insecurity ...

[Celadon]

This isn't an post looking for advice, just wanted to share some thoughts tonight.

 

You know, it seems like a lot of people feel insecure - including me sometimes. And insecurity makes people do stupid things, like when a woman hangs on to a bf only because she's afraid of being alone, or when someone who has a s.o. flirts with someone else anyway.

 

I was just realizing that I let other people's behavior bug me when I myself feel insecure. But you know what helps? Saying affirmations about yourself. Then it matters less what other people do or say. AFfirmations help you realize what is the truth about yourself - like you're a loyal friend, or good at putting on parties, or someone who is creative.

 

I'm big into respect, and when someone is selfish it bugs the heck out of me. (Not like I'm perfect, but I'm just saying...) But by focusing my strengths, then it's like a friend's disrespect doesn't matter as much. Then it's not like a reflection on me, but it's their problem.

 

Anyway, I was just thinking about this stuff. Hope maybe it helps someone. Anyone else have thoughts on how to feel more secure, feel free to add 'em!

[Lily04]

Basically just be content with yourself, don't rely on others too much for happiness. I mean, to some extent, we are all reliant on others' for happiness (the whole 'no man is an island' belief) but at the same time, you have to be self-reliant and confident in your own beliefs, and have confidence in yourself -- who you really are. Develop that identity, don't be shy and insecure about it. if you feel there's something lacking, then go change it. What helps me is believing that I have the power to change myself for the better.

 

Ultimately the self-confidence thing is key though. I get the impression that my boyfriend is insecure because he seems to cling to people's job descriptions a lot, and chooses friends based on who he thinks is valuable to him, etc. He cares a lot about people's image & his own..it seems sorta shallow to me. Be true to yourself, accept your own deficiencies or surpass them, don't try to cover up who you are or be someone who you're not. It seems fake, and some people can see through it. To those people who can see through it, you appear insecure and you know deep down you are (otherwise you wouldn't be pretending to be someone you're not.)

[ShySoul]

I think the best thing you can do for yourself is to take the time to really explore who you are as a person. What are your hopes and dreams? What are your strengths? Your weaknesses? What do you value most in life? Who are the type of people you want to be associated with? What do you believe in? By asking ourselves these questions we can come to terms with who we are and develop confidence in ourselves. When other people are disrespectful, think about your good qualities and you won't feel so bothered. The people who are mean and selfish are that way becuase they don't like who they are inside. They try to put others down to make themselves feel better. They are the ones with no confidence in themselves. If we believe in and like ourselves, we won't be tempted to stoop to their level and will, if anything, will feel sorry that they are like that.

 

At the end of the day you have to look at yourself in the mirror. It would be better to like what you see.

[Celadon]

Nice thoughts, guys!