Yep..she still doesn't want to know me

[Slow Club]

Recently, i've been trying to initiate contact with my ex just because I'm still curious about her life and often wonder how she's doing.

 

Despite her texting me a month or so ago saying that she got cheated on and telling me that she's sorry for cheating on me, she finally rebuffed my attempts to keep in contact with her by basically get her bf to tell me to go away (well, the message was much ruder than that actually).

 

This hurt a little bit but it's not so bad but I needed to hear something like that to know that she still didn't want to be friends. It just annoys me that she can't tell me this herself. Not once has she written me a nice letter explaining her intentions and plans and feelings so I know where she is emotionally and what she wants.

 

But again, this is ok because it just tells me that she's not right for me. It's just strange because when we first started seeing each other, I was the compulsive liar who was reluctant to open up to her and now she's the one who can't be forthright with me. Weird how things change like that huh? I'll still try to be as honest as I can though and I appreciate that she taught me to be honest as well as many other things.

 

Anyway, despite it being nearly 2 years since the BU, I feel that I am finally ready to forget about her. I realised recently that one of the things stopping me was that I was terrified that she would just become a distant memory. A memory so faint that I would barely remember her in 10 years time. It's a fear I still have but it's a fear I must face if I am to get through this. Weirdly, I also fear that she won't become a distant memory and that it will become unrequited love forever. I think the latter is more fear and the former is just extremely melancholy.

 

I just hope I find another gf soon. I've waited too long now, I guess I should stop being so picky (I am unbelievably picky and probably have no right to be).

 

bye bye Cass, I'm sorry you aren't who I thought you were.

[gigginstick]

I woulda told that dude my address and that he's more than welcome to stop by at anytime if I were you. But yea guy you gotta let her go. Stop reachin out, you have too. But I also understand that maybe you really needed this to happen, thats the final nail. Now live a life she would want to be apart of.

[Zero71]

At least now I know I'm not only one still wanting his ex after 2 years despite that ex cheating. But yeah the best thing you can do is leave her alone. If she doesn't want to be with you let alone be friends then that's her choice. Just like it's your choice to move on. In my own situation I chose to stop reaching out to her. She got a boyfriend so I'm not going to dishonor myself by chasing after her. Funny enough she's the one who keeps trying to reach out to me every once in awhile.