Ex has a new boyfriend

[spitnimage]

I am having so much trouble getting over this girl. WE dated for a year and eight months, she broke up with me 4 and a half months ago because she wanted to be single for awhile. Well I found out she is dating some new guy and it crushes me. I feel lied to. We have been talking often recently the last month, she calling me, then I call her, back and forth. She called me last week and didn't say anything about this guy, even though I know she started dating him then. She wants to be friends, and always says that, and I have tried really hard to be a friend, but everytime I talk to her I get all these feelings. We were very serious and now I don't know exactly what do to. I have told myself I will not call her anymore, I won't do that to this guy, I hated it when her other exes would call. We talked about it the other day and she said to call her sometime, I responded by saying I won't do that, she has a new boyfriend, I am her for her though. She said why couldn't I call, she called so it would be my turn. I told her she could call , but i wouldn't. Did I handle this well? How can I forget about what her and the new guy are up to and move on...

[DBL]

I think you did the right thing...its a mature move that you did, telling her you would not call because it is not fair to her boyfriend, and realizing you didn't like it...why do it to somebody else. You need to find a girl that has the same morals as yourself. She doesn't seem to have the same morals, respect for others or a relationship , or maturity that you have. So it is probably better this way. She is not going to change. You just need to cough up to what is going on and come to realize that you can do much better.

 

Good Luck

DBL

[Day_Walker]

You have to do what is best for you. You are not over this girl so you arent ready to be friends with her. Maybe you will never be ready to be friends with her again and thats fine. Dont ever think that you have to buy into the whole "we need to be friends" thing because it just doesnt suit certain situations. I think you handled it well, and i think that you shouldnt call her until you feel that it can completely be platonic. That may take some time or it might never happen. Do what is best for you and dont be concerned if she wants to be friends.

[sdw]

I know juut how you feel since my g/f broke up with me 7/8 weeks ago because she wanted to be by herself, was too busy for a relationship and couldn't handle having anyone else feelings to deal with etc. As if breaking up with you severs all responsability for your feelings eh ? Anyway, I know that she too is back out on the hunt, and I like you feel lied to. It might be worthwhile telling her that you feel like she wasn't honest with you about the reasons for her breaking up if that's what you feel. If you are going to be friends, my advice is to get that sorted out, you can't be friends and tip toe around each other, so if you feel lied to, tell her and see how things go.

[jchan]

as bad as it seems, we have to admit that one thing is true

when you break up, you're back out on the market. and there's no rules governing who you can't see and who you can't go out with.

my ex always assured me that she'd never go out with her friend. but guess what, after we broke up, she's going out with that guy. there aren't many rules and regulations when it comes to breaking up and post breakup. lots of people feel lied to because the reasons behind breaking up don't really justify the time you had to together. but simple lies are the easiest way to break off a relationship. yah, sdw's rite, you should tel her how you felt about the reasons for breaking up, but i wouldn't suggest you start putting the blame on her.

[spitnimage]

thanks everyone for the advice, i will try and keep nc, I hiipe I can. I need to. I just need to know that its over. If anyone else has anything to say I'd appreciate it. thanks again

[greenstars]

i totally understand how you feel. i just found out today my ex is dating somebody else. we were together for 16 months and broke up four months ago. and the way i found out was stupid. he kept announcing it in a room, where i was present, about his new girlfriend. it was completely inconsiderate. i could barely get any work done after.

 

it's not that i still pine away after him. i've moved on pretty much. i can say that i am over him. i dont' want him back. but i was still sooo effected.

 

i think it's just so weird to picture them kissing or holding hands or hugging somebody who is not you. to picture them talking on the phone with somebdy other then you. now i have to see them together the whole day tomorrow. i just hope i don't see any of those pda. or else i might just break down. hopefully i'll be stronger tomorrow.

 

--

 

but i think you did handle your situation well. calling only creates this sense of hope and this sense of the past. there is no point. at this point, you just have to move forward.