What do I do?

[Whyme40]

I've been talking to this guy online, he's a Facebook friend. We know each other for about a year, and been getting closer in the las few months. We'll meet in person in about a month, and he always seems nice and interested. He told me he doesn't want to be in a serious relationship for now, and wants to see how things go. Which works for me because I had a bad relationship last year and I'm still recovering.

 

I can't lie and say that I wasn't excited and even elated about this new relationship, it felt good. In the last 3 days he hasn't been to attentive, which means nothing, people get busy. But this morning I open my newsfeed on FB and see a post from a girl on his wall, and his comments on it:

 

Girl:

him: You're a sweetie.

Girl: You're my bf.

him:

Girl: lol well that was weird to say

 

Then a few minutes later, he posted on her wall: You're awesome

 

Now, what does it mean? He doesn't want anything serious, and I'd even be ok with him seeing other people, but is this serious? Does she mean best friend or boyfriend? And I feel like asking him, but I don't want to sound like a stalker, should I confront him, should I just wait?

 

I'm not his girlfriend, we haven't even met in person yet. But the we have a trip already planned and tickets bought. So, what do I do?

 

This is killing me! I feel terrible, like an idiot, especially because that's one of the reasons my other relationship didn't work, it's like it's all happening again, he likes me until he meets someone better. I don't know if I'm panicking because of that, or if there is reason to panic.

[bebeblondie]

I mean this definitely does look suspicous, I would definitely ask him about it.

 

But here's a word of advice dont start a relationship over facebook, or any other social network. I personally don't understand having a relationship with someone you've never met in person.

 

PS I don't think you'll sound like a stalker, especially if you bought plane tickets to go see him, it's perfectly reasonable for you to find out what is going on here.

[abitbroken]

She might not be his girlfriend and they could just be joking around. Who knows.

 

But I do think you should pay attention to his comment that he doesn't want to be in a serious relationship. He is being clear that he doesn't want to be your steady boyfriend. If you have butterflies already about a guy you have never met, maybe you are getting too serious too quick. If you are meeting next month, this means you are long distance, right? I hope you don't plan on sleeping with him. It will make matters worse and you will be more inclined to try to stick with him even if he doesn't want a relationship. It will not change his mind. An LDR only starts when two people are on the same page.

 

I would ask what it was about and if the answer was not satisfactory, cancel the trip. you don't need to chase after a guy who doesn't want a relationship with you (and he already told you he doesn't!).

[happyfrank]

He told me he doesn't want to be in a serious relationship for now, and wants to see how things go. Sounds like he doesn't like you. If a man really likes you. He makes things happen. To me it sounds like he wants open relationship. He wants to see you and somebody else. find somebody else. Good luck.

[Cherry009]

He must be aware that you will be able to see these comments on his wall? You have every right to know what these mean, seeing as you have bought flight tickets to go and see him. Ask him what these comments are and what they mean.

 

I personally think you should forget this guy, like happyfrank said, if he really liked you he would make things happen. Sounds like he wants something pretty casual, just dont get too emotionally involved as it could end up with a broken heart, which would not be good if you are still recovering from a past hurt.

[Imtheretoo]

"Doesn't want to be in a serious relationship for now, and wants to see how things go"

 

Going to lead off with this. This usually translates to, "I haven't met you yet, and don't know if I'll be physically attracted to you." This eliminates any obligations. The rest can be a misunderstanding, but more than likely, he's playing the field. I don't see how "bf" can be misconstrued to mean best friend, since afterwards she goes to say, "lol well that was weird to say". Why would it be weird to call someone your best friend?

 

Having been involved in LDR, it's a pain. It's a hassle. It leads to many complications and just isn't worth it.