He can be ROMANTIC... I'm incompetent

[lillady898]

My boyfriend has been saying the sweetest things lately, since his big turn-around (he's back to the awesome boyfriend he was last Winter). He's always been very good with words, and could say anything and make it sound nice. He talks about what he thinks about when he's daydreaming about us and us in the future, how he feels for me, etc. Sometimes he gets really mushy, but I like how he does it. It's seriously better than any poetry I've ever heard to me sometimes because its so sweet.

 

Anyways, that's not the problem. The problem is that I am not romantic or mushy. When he says something to me, I'm just like, "Aw, thanks, I love you." And that's the extent of it. Nothing I say sounds sweet, but rather sounds kind of childish and more like a joke than anything. I don't want him to think I don't like what he says to me, because I do. He's a very expressive person and I love it. Not many guys that I've met do that. I just don't know how to react. I'm not so smooth with words and never have anything romantic to say. It probably doesn't matter, but I mean, it's just annoying that I can't do it, and can only spit out an uncreative, "I love you," at him.

 

How can I graciously take everything he says in? That's all I want. I don't even care if I become a romantic or anything. I just wan't to be able to tell him that, hey, that's really cool. And tell him my feelings, like in the ways he does. How do you react to romantic words when you are not romantic?

 

Any help?

[Iceman26]

This sounds exactly like my last relationship. I was the very expressive & romantic one, and she showed very little, if anything at all!

 

I think the fact that you tell him "I love you" after he says things to you is a very good thing, and it shows him that you are supportive of what he is saying (which is why he keeps telling you these good things).

 

If you want to be reciprocal of the things he says to you, why not write him a letter, or a poem, or paint him a picture?

 

Just because you are not romantic verbally doesnt mean that you aren't romantic period. You could make him dinner, or take him on a picnic lunch to the park, or the beach, or whatever nice places are in your area. I hope that helps!

[mahlina]

Hi Lillady898,

 

I used to be that way to one of my ex's too. In that case, if you feel somewhat awkward about feeling mushy and all, the next time you share a problem with him (i.e. something that's bothering you), and he helps you out by cheering you up, perhaps you can say something without feeling like it's forced. Say something genuine like: "See? Thanks! I knew that I can rely on you! You're the head and I'm the heart in the relationship." It's kind of a nice way of saying, "You're the man! And I am grateful to have someone like you in my life" without sounding too corny. At least it doesn't sound generic, right? Remember to say it once in a while, so that he'll cherish what you say more.

 

So, you still can be romantic, by indirectly saying things that are nice. Also, other things that you can do to show your appreciation is to look at him in his eyes, smile, gently caress his arms, and peck him on his lips whenever he does do something nice. That's also a nice suble expression of love.

[user1481]

Ya know...I was just dating someone that was the same as you. I was the one that was always saying the mushy things and telling her exactly how I was feeling.

 

With me, it was hard to tell if she was serious about me cause she never said or did anything mushy like that. In your case, I would just say, So something that complements what he always says to you. But make it a point to say it's for all those nice things you always say to me.

 

In other words. Find something you can do for him when your at a loss of words. Hold him extra tight, look at him in his eyes with passion, …or just go up to him and tell him, "thank you for being the way you are: And make sure he knows your doing this or saying these things because of those things he says. He will feel appreciated and feel those mushy times arent going unnoticed. That's what would have liked!!