I wonder if I am clueless about her true feelings.

[sibelius9]

It's so hard to read and understand another person. Hell...it's hard to figure out one's own personality so it makes me wonder if she struggled with being the one who did the breaking up. I'm sure it's possible that she suffered as the dumper. It's making me feel kinda blue tonight to think that the act of breaking up with me was not easy on her. I had never seen anyone break down the way I saw her at my feet (literally) when she walked out for good 7 months ago. Could this have been a big act? Last I heard she's dating someone now but she said she could not date for a very long time until she healed and got over me/us. Life is one big awkward jack-in-the-box. Why do I feel blue about the possibility of HER feeling blue? Maybe I'm learning to empathize (finally). Maybe she feels great and I should feel good for her. Wow....the uncertainty of it all is the trickiest hurdle to overcome.

[Caremonkey]

Why do you feel this way, this empathy. Is it because you want her back? Or are you also over her?

[offplanet]

Dumpers sometimes get emotional when they dump you because even though they don't actually want you, they still don't like hurting you. Also they want you to know they aren't indifferent to you, because they want to stay in your favour. They don't want you to turn against them. Nobody likes having the person who loved them turn against them. They don't want to be hated. Another thing is that getting emotional when dumping someone deflects the attention from what they're doing, dumping and hurting you, to they themselves being the hurting one! So it works out that they want the sympathy instead of you. It's all about them! They still care, but not enough to want to be with you. They want their cake and eat it too, dump you but have you still have your good opinion..

[sportsguy9981]

Actions speak louder then words, if the person dumps you then its over and they are heartless if they replace you right away like mine did.. consider yourself lucky that she waited a long time before she dated someone else, mine cheated and moved right on to another guy, its tough. She may feel bad but she made her decision, she's not acting on her feelings if she feels bad so unless she did she moved on.

[sibelius9]

Why do you feel this way, this empathy. Is it because you want her back? Or are you also over her?

 

I figure it's a twisted combination of the two reasons. I probably makes no sense but I'm starting to genuinely feel that I am getting over her while still knowing that very deep, deep, deep inside, somewhere in there....I still have love for her (and her daughter). I still wish it could've worked out and yet I know that things pan out the way they should for whatever bigger picture is mapped out in life. I guess I'm in a state of polarity but it's more reassuring than fluctuating from one intense extreme to the other and remaining in each for longer periods of time. That was a bi-polar existence for 6 months. Now I just live on the borderline. Make any sense?

 

By the way...sorry for the delay in responding. I've had a cold and had not signed into ENA for a couple of nights.

[sibelius9]

I like your quote.

[sibelius9]

You're no the first to point out the "have your cake and eat it too" theory in regards to this. I'm starting to think that it's a component in her behavior. Whatever, right? Such are things.....

 

Dumpers sometimes get emotional when they dump you because even though they don't actually want you, they still don't like hurting you. Also they want you to know they aren't indifferent to you, because they want to stay in your favour. They don't want you to turn against them. Nobody likes having the person who loved them turn against them. They don't want to be hated. Another thing is that getting emotional when dumping someone deflects the attention from what they're doing, dumping and hurting you, to they themselves being the hurting one! So it works out that they want the sympathy instead of you. It's all about them! They still care, but not enough to want to be with you. They want their cake and eat it too, dump you but have you still have your good opinion..