We've been able to hold some friendly emails as of lately. She even emailed very sweetly with my mother. I felt the sudden need, two nights ago, to write the following: "What do you say we run away and start all over". I know it's cliché but that's what my heart was telling me. I haven't received a reply and I fear I won't. Is that worse than receiving a negative reply? I'm not even sure which one hurts more.