Broken Up over Email, I need help :(

[Lindz]

Hi,

 

This is officially my first post here, I have been reading threads for awhile and everyone seems so helpful, I thought this could help me too.

 

So here is my story, I will try to keep it short. Me and my ex have been broken up for about two weeks now, NC, and its so hard to not talk to him. Basically we were in an LDR, and have been dating for almost three years, I truly thought I would end up with him We had a really bad day, and were bickering, and towards the end, we were at a club and I had a little to much to drink (which believe me I regret now) , got into a pretty big fight and he left, he shut his phone off for several days and eventually wrote me a break up email, saying this was kinda the last straw. But still an EMAIL after three years?! I just dont get it, yes we had our fights, but the times we had together were absolutely incredible, we had a chemistry like no one else I have ever known. It seemed so sudden and so irrational. I guess what I am wanting to know is there any hope after this? Or does an email break up pretty much means he will never talk to me again this is just so hard.

 

And I know people will say why would you want to be with someone you breaks up with you in an email? And I dunno, I guess love is a funny thing

[Not a rookie]

Well he is a five-star jerk. It was for the best that you guys broke up. Now you can meet someone genuine and loving.

[abitbroken]

If something was "the last straw Then this was not out of the blue. There have been some issues that have not been addressed and you getting drunk and bickering pushed him over the edge. You said "you had your fights" but the chemistry was good. When people fight all the time, or not but their fights are always bad/knockdown that trumps any sexual chemistry. Sometimes people feel they have to write out a long email because they don't feel the other person will listen, or the dumper feels that they won't be strong enough to say what they had to say in person. Also, if he left and went back home and is long distance, you only have phone and email as possibles.

 

Sure, an email breakup sounds bad, but so does a fight being so bad that the person who visited you from out of town cuts their trip short. As I said before, if this is the last straw, this has been brewing or a long time. I would look at what your part in the downfall of the relationship was to grow from. You can't make someone be in a relationship with you if they don't want to. It stinks, I know. You can either just move on, or let him cool off and say your peace but I would say moving on might be best,.

[pippy longstocking]

Although an email sounds a horrific way to do this , I actually think there are other reasons behind it .

 

yes it is not confronting the person ..but

 

some people just cannot do it face to face , they cannot give as much content verbally and you often find you get more of an explanation this way .

 

I don't think you should invest too much on the fact that it was an email , you have enough to deal with , and I don't think it is an indicator of anything .

[Capricorn3]

we were at a club and I had a little to much to drink , got into a pretty big fight and he left, he shut his phone off for several days and eventually wrote me a break up email, saying this was kinda the last straw.

I don't think the big issue is breaking up over email, but the REAL big issue is what the "big fight" was all about to have made it the "last straw". It seems there has been some ongoing issues for some time to make this big fight the "last straw".

[TheRawTruth]

I have to agree with the others. It sounds to me like he was just sick of the bulls**t and finally had to END it. Speaking from personal experience, having HAD a girlfriend I argued with all the time, it is NOT fun. The more you do it, the less you want continue the relationship because it's so EXHAUSTING. It's ANNOYING. So after a while, something's gotta give. Ya get TIRED of it.

 

The fact that he broke up with you by email simply means it was the easiest option. Had he done it in person, you may have convinced him to change his mind. Either through tears, hurt, hugs, or sex. Had he done it by phone, you may've started arguing AGAIN while he was trying to get his points accross. With email, he can say what he wants, without being interrupted or persuaded to rethink it. The more you TALK to the person you're mad at, the more chance there is of them convincing you not to cut them off. Maybe he was sick of the back & forth. Trust me, I've been there.

[squirl]

 

we were in an LDR, and have been dating for almost three years(

 

LDRs aren't sustainable if they don't turn into a common plan to be together. Under the circumstances, the manner of breaking up is not as important as that he let you know that his intentions had changed. He could have let you go on thinking you were in a RL while he knew otherwise.

 

Sorry about this.