no more love

[Scott Joyner]

I do not know what to do with myself. My ex and I were together for four years. Since high school. She is my first and only love. We have had problems with our relationship for a while. Although we rarely fought. But she was not happy about how things were going. We were living at her parents house at the time and She was upset that i have not found out a career and that i have given up on the things i have tried. Honestly i thought it was something that could be fixed. I've been working quit hard the past few months to prove to her i can change. I talked to her about possibly becoming a phlebotomist just until i find a real career that i will be happy in, but she shot that down. Said that i wouldn't be happy there. I tried to find a second job to support us while she was in school, to move us out of her parents house, i applied at over 35 places and didn't receive a phone call from anyone. To make things worse around december 15 i lost my other job as well. I told her i would fix it. and she continued to love me and support me. Then a few days before christmas. I was arrested for stealing a purse. I got out of jail christmas morning. When i got home she had basically had all my things ready for me to go. She didn't even give me a chance to explain so i just packed up and left. We continued talking and i got the chance to explain myself. I told her it was not my fault. that i did not steal the purse. I was just with the guy who did steal the purse. She basically forgave me and a few days later she came up to my fathers house and spent 5 or 6 days with me and my family. It was amazing. Its been a month since then. During that month we have continued talking. Continued texting like a couple. Continued hanging out and kissing and being together. I was incredibly happy and i thought she was too. She said things to me like that she wants me to be her soulmate. That she would love me forever. Then a few days ago i was at a party at her parents for the superbowl. She was drinking and i wasn't. She was being social i was watching the game... I noticed she was flirting with someone. So after leaving that night i got mad at her for it. I ended the conversation quickly and said i was going to bed. The next day we didn't speak at all. And the following day i texted her saying that i miss her. Well. She basically told me that we are just putting off the inevitable and that we are done. I tried to fight for her. i tried to get her to not let me go. But she did. The past two days i have been sending her texts nonstop trying to get her to forgive me and give me another chance. But she wasn't having it. She said that she does not like the person that she is when she's with me. And today i was trying to talk to her on the phone and she told me that she is not in love with me anymore. Do you think she is just mad? Do i need to give her some space? some time to calm down? some time to miss me? Or do i keep fighting for her? i really don't thing that she means what she said. At least i hope not. I'm just so confused and heartbroken. I have never gone through something like this and i am afraid that this is really done forever. Thinking that just one week ago we were sleeping in the same bed and having a great time just breaks my heart. I hate it.

[shessofly]

give her some space, don't smother her and keep working on the job situation. no one can say if she meant what she said. at this point in time all you can do is take her at her word. stop with the constant texting and let her breathe for a bit. even though the past couple weeks had been good, it sounds like the two of you had some unresolved issues and this for her was the last straw. keep improving yourself (not for her but for a better future period) and back up a lot. space, space, space...

[Scott Joyner]

found out today she is falling for the other guy. Depressing. I don't know how to go over this pain.

[amycnote]

I'm sorry for what you're going through, Scott. The first love is very hard to get over, but you have to think of this as something that you won't be going through forever. The way that you feel now will not last for the rest of your life. The pain will lessen and there will come a day that you don't think of her or agonize over the demise of this relationship. You guys are both young; take this time to focus on yourself. Especially the job thing. Time will seem like it's going by slowly at first, but just keep busy with school, work, your friends, etc. and one day you will realize that you've made it however long and you will take satisfaction in your progress. Unfortunately, the passing of time is the only thing that really helps dampen those emotions that are so strong at this moment. But you can do this - onward, my friend.