Did I do the right thing by ending it with my Lady Friend.

[DTHEP]

I am 55 and I have been divorced for 12 years. Two years ago I met a lady who I worked with many years ago, she is 59. We started seeing each other and for the first two months everything was pretty good. The only problem was that she was not over her ex who she had broken up with. She had lived with him for 11 years. She would call him sometimes, and I know he would occasionally visit her on his way home from work. I know after they split up he did do a few jobs for her around her new house.

I was not happy with her phoning and seeing him but I just put up with it.

 

 

Then after 2 months she finished with me suddenly. I was devistated as I really did like her. I could not work, sleep or eat etc. So after a couple of days I called her and managed to talk her round to getting back togeher. But things were not quite as good as before. She told me she had gone off sex; she put it down to the menopause and the tablets she was on. I Googled this and it did seem to check out. She also said that although I could sometimes stay over and sleep with her she only wanted me as a close friend. Again I was not happy but I put up with it.

 

 

A couple more months went by, things were going fairly well, but no sex, and she decided to rent out her house and move in with me. I agreed, but at the last minute she changed her mind and decided not to rent out her house.

 

Then a month later she asked me how I felt about selling my house and moving in with her. Still no sex. I agreed, and put my house on the marked and managed to get an offer within 6 weeks. The very next day she changed her mind, said she was not sure. I was somewhat confused, but cancelled the sale.

 

 

I continued to see this lady. Still no sex

 

She decided to sell her house and move to another part of town. I helped her to move, in fact she did stay with me for a couple of weeks as she could not move in the next place straight away, which meant moving her stuff into storage and then moving it out again when the house was ready, so it was like moving twice. She did not have a removal company do it; I did it with help from her brother.

 

She moved in to the next house, but the house needed a lot of work. Guess who did a lot of it? Yes me.

 

When it was all finished she decided she was not happy with the location, so she moved yet again! And again I helped her move and sort out the new place, not too much to do in the new place as it was brand new. Still no sex.

 

Then after a couple of months of being in the new place she announced to me (on my birthday) that we could still only just be friends and that she did not want to see me very much, she said she really just wanted to be on her own, but would call me quite a lot.

 

As you can imagine I was getting a bit fed up with things, so I told her as we were only just friends I was going to start on-line dating. She said she did not have a problem with that.

 

I managed to get a couple of dates but nothing came of it.

 

So occasionally I would still see her, and sometimes we would go out and sometimes I would stay over, but no sex.

 

But now she has decided to go on-line dating and has had couple of dates. I was not very happy and I told her why go dating some other men, when if you wanted to go out I would take you. I was very jealous even though I had been on-line dating and felt I had no right to be jealous.

 

All this time again, she has still not got over her ex and continues to call him and see him occasionally.

 

Anyway a week ago I told her I had enough and now I am having nothing to do with her. She was sad and wanted to stay friends, but I said no. I am still very much in love with her, and I am struggling to get over her. I feel very down, but I am managing not to contact her. I am trying the 60 day no contact rule.

 

Have I done the right thing by not having anymore to do with her?

 

And I should also mention that this is a very short version of the last 2 years, to go in to all of it would take too long.

[Capricorn3]

Yes, I think you did the right thing. It sounds more like a one-sided friendship with her using you all the way for whatever and whenever she needs help with something. I think you can do better than that. She was never really into you - you were just convenient and available (imo). Move on.

[RedDress]

I agree. You weren't really in a relationship, you were in a situation where she felt ok using you.

 

I think you should find a pursue a relationship with someone who wants a relationship (and sex!). 50's are the new 40's. There is no reason you can't have a great and proper relationship (sex included)

[pippy longstocking]

she has just been abusing the fact that you have feelings for her ..to her advantage, but continually covering her tracks by reminding you that it is just a friendship , therefore easing her mind of leading you on ...

 

you have done the right thing without a doubt .