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First date with crush,I'm extremely nervous, how should the conversation unfold?


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Hi everyone


So there's this guy I've met for 6 months and since the first time I talked to him I was delighted! He's very nice, funny, cute and above of all very intelligent and I LOVE talking to him, because there are so many things we can conversate about! He's so educated and nice! He's a writer and sometimes he tells me some of his stories (or someone else's) and I could stay all day long listening to him


As you can tell, I have an intellectual fascination for him and it was I who asked him on a date! I don't know how did it happen but the other day on my way to college I ran into him, we chatted a little but since I had to go to class, I said goodbye and I then it just spat out of my mouth "Hey, do you think we could go out for coffee sometime? He gave me a mysterious look and before he could say anything I added "Because I want to talk to somebody about stuff, you know? School, boooks and a couple of things that have been bugging me lately" He told me that it would be great and now that there are 3 days left I'm so nervous!


He's 10 years older than me, very mature and respectful so I don't expect this to be a romantic date, just a coffee with a nice guy (who I really really like!) It feels so weird because, he's not the first guy I go out with, nor the first one I ask out, nor the oldest friend I have, but when I'm around him I feel like a child, I get very nervous, my brain stops working correctly and I'm afraid I'll say or do something stupid like blush violently or end up saying I LOVE YOU, MARRY ME!!! Lol


So I wanted some advice. What am I supposed to say when he asks me what's bugging me? (There's nothing bugging me, I just said that because my brain stopped working). How can I avoid blushing so easily? If we agreed to meet at 7 at what time should I leave? And the most important question: What kind of stuff shoud I avoid mentioning or doing if I don't want him to realize I have this huge crush on him? (Or, honestly, tell me, do you think that he already knows? >.


I know how immature I must be looking right now (not that I'm very old, I'm 18), but I can't help it!


Thank you for your advice

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How old are you? I see a 1 followed by a face with glasses. If you're still in your teens, I think it's a bad idea to date a guy 10 years older - the maturity and phase of life differences are at their most enormous at that time and it's a parent child dynamic with a huge power gap, as you're already showing by how much you let him fluster you.


I would also recommend never saying 'conversate' in his presence if he's an educated writer.

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Yeah I agree, and this also does not sound like a date at all even though you would like it to be, the look he gave you when you asked him says it all, he is knows you are 18, making him 28, so yeah, he probably thought it was weird, prompting you to add that you want to talk to him about stuff, so that is no date, and I would also not pursue this any further, stop crushing on him..

Friends maybe, but then you have to lose the crush or it well be difficult and awkward..

And indeed, don't use the term conversate with him, lol

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Haha sorry and thank you!! Converse* English is my second language


I'm 18, I know it's a huge gap! But as I said I don't want to date him like boyfriend-girlfriend, I'm cool being friends, really. I didn't know the word "date" implied romanitc interests, is appointment a better word?


I just see this "meeting" in a friendly way, I won't try to make any move on him and I'm sure he won't try it either, we're just going to talk and I'm fine with that, because I love talking with him, but as I said this time I'm very nervous!

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you're already showing by how much you let him fluster you.


I would also recommend never saying 'conversate' in his presence if he's an educated writer.


Though I don't dissagree with you, I'm 39 and my recent crush had me all a fluster to the same point.

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Thank you everyone!


Things went better than expected, we got our coffee, talked for 3 hours and everything was very nice. At first, when I arrived I was so nervous, but then, when we started talking eveything was fine and I could relax

As I said, nothing weird happened, we were just like a couple of friends talking about school and life and now I'm extremely happy


I hope all of you have a good week!!

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  • 3 months later...

Hey. It's totally fine to have a crush on an older, cool, intellectual guy (I've been in love with my 27 year old English teacher for 4 years!). But it's pretty unlikely that this guy will want to have a platonic relationship with you, and if that is so then the age gap at the moment is probably a little to much. It's nice that your meeting for coffee, in regards to conversation just talk about what you usually talk about, his writing, your work etc. maybe if things are going well you could ask him some more personal questions like where is he originally form, what's his family like. Just don't get your hopes up. Good luck

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