willdation Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 I just started going out with this girl, but have a feeling that I should not trust her and I now left Europe for four months so we are having a long distance relationship.. Basically, here are a few reasons other than a gut feeling that I am having a little doubts.. - she was at first hesitant to change her facebook status from single, even though we were in a relationship. She said it was because she never changed her status before and did not think everyone had to know. She eventually changed it to relationship status because this bothered me... - She blocked her friend list, so I cannot see her friends or whenever she adds someone new to facebook - A month before we met, she slept with her co worker a few times even though she did not really like him. They go on business trips together and I think he helps her load products in the warehouse for their work at night alone... - We were together on New Years and when I left to get a drink and come back, she was dancing with another guy she just met. It went on for 15 minutes and she even looked back at me while I was just sitting at a table by myself waiting for her to come back...She didnt so I just said I was going outside for a bit...She then said I dont know how to have fun and that he came up to her and she was drunk and they did not do anything and that he has a gf....She said she wont do it again, but how do I really know? - She said she loves going to bars and get guys to look at her...I asked how many guys she made out with at bars, and she laughed and said millions... - She has two mobile phones and I only have the number to one of them...I never asked for the other number, but thought it was weird that she never uses her second phone around me..I just seen it one time and she just said she for some reason has two cell phone plans...She had both phones before we met and did not have a bf for like 5 months prior...so at least it wasn't bought on purpose to try and hide something from me....but...you never know what could happen... Link to comment
metrogirl Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 I know someone who has 2 phones, one for everyday use and the other to keep in contact with the persons they are cheating with. Link to comment
becomingkate Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 She blocked her friend list, so I cannot see her friends or whenever she adds someone new to facebook The only person who ever set their facebook to restricted (for me) was my 15 year old daughter, who was hiding something. when I left to get a drink and come back, she was dancing with another guy she just met. It went on for 15 minutes and she even looked back at me while I was just sitting at a table by myself waiting for her to come back...She didnt so I just said I was going outside for a bit...She then said I dont know how to have fun and that he came up to her and she was drunk and they did not do anything and that he has a gf.... This is quite rude, and I might have broken it off just because of it. Only one of my bfs ever danced to more than one song while I sat waiting for him, but it made me feel so uncomfortable that I later asked, "would you mind if I did that, then?" and he never did it again. Link to comment
luminousone Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 It doesn't sound like she is that into you. Sounds more like she is just biding time with you until something better cones along, or is using you as a front for whatever else she has going on the side. The extra phone could be for her work. Otherwise, who pays for two phones? Link to comment
EssexMan Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 This all reminds me of an ex of mine. I don't think she cheated, but she seemed unable to see that her ego-boosting flirtation with other guys was way too excessive. The blocking of the friends list is actually the item on your list that I consider most alarming. What is she trying to hide there? Link to comment
careymarie Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 The friends list thing is weird to me, too, although it might not just be for you. If you ask her about it, what would she say? She might have a good reason (people can be weird about facebook. My ex once spent two days not talking to me because I "friended" someone I met through mutual interests and she had had a falling out with this person (which I was completely unaware of) Now, my ex is not a mentally healthy person and that's probably a bad example, but girls can get hung up on stuff like "omg, I can't believe you're still friends with X, don't you know ___" I'd ask her about it, especially since you're not the only person she's hiding it from. She may well have two phones for work - my aunt does, and there's 0% chance she's using it for anything dodgy. Now this business of dancing with another guy is just rude (depending, of course, on how they were dancing - was this hardcore grinding?). Either way, it's weird that she would just get up and go off with another guy. If you're really interested in continuing a relationship with this girl, I would have a nice chat with her about how you want to trust her and how you would hope she won't put herself in situations that aren't appropriate for someone in a relationship. "I was drunk" is never an excuse. If you know you do inappropriate things when you're drunk, you shouldn't get drunk around people who will do inappropriate things with you even though you're in a relationship. That's all well and good for single folks who want to "have fun" and have casual sex, but if you're committing yourself to a relationship, there are some things you just don't do. Link to comment
Jlizzy Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 You know the answer already in your heart of hearts....you've mentioned several things that bother you and as far as I'm concerned you have highlighted way too many red flags!! You sound like a nice guy go get yourself a girl who actually deserves your attention and devotion and drop this cow like a hot brick.....she's too selfish and you deserve better!! Link to comment
oldenoughtoknow Posted January 31, 2013 Share Posted January 31, 2013 I agree with the others. Way too many red flags are waving. And now you're out of town for 4 months? You've already seen what she'll do in front of your face - imagine what she'll do behind your back? Do you really want to deal with this worry for 4 months? I'd call it quits. When you're back in town, she might be worth another try, if you can get her to behave herself. I wouldn't hold my breath on that one. Link to comment
LelouchZero Posted February 7, 2013 Share Posted February 7, 2013 Sounds like someone exactly I know....*sigh* Link to comment
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