believelove Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 ive been in a serious relationship with my first love since i was 18 (now 22) , hes 2 years younger than me. we fell in love instantly and were inseparable for the first 2 years. The last 2 years have been a struggle BIGTIME , and it all started when he brought up marriage. i know we may seem very young, but we were once so certain we'd found soulmates in each other. anyway, after a whole year of him suggesting he would propose i began to get impatient and was worried as to why he was holding back, his family love me, so we started fighting about it, he kept saying 'not yet, maybe next month", and thats when things got really bad. Im insecure about my weight which goes up and down all the time, but he started making little comments about clothes i wore, and me 'letting myself go", which hurt me deeply. then he started going out with his friends alot more and turning off his phone, no interest in sex, and he developed an arrogance that was sickening.. not the guy i fell in love with. he told me he was never jealous because "no-one would ever look twice at you", started seeing me less and less.. some might say i was jumping to conclusions but i guessed he was cheating (?). we broke up, he got me back by proposing, but made me promise not to tell anyone , until one night we had planned a romantic dinner date, and about an hour before he told me he was going out with his friends .. i had turned up at his house anyway demanding an explanation, he wouldnt even come to the door at first.. then came out and told me to go home, he walked away and left me there sobbing.. i lost it, couldnt even speak for about an hour, so i announced our engagement on a social network, where all his family would see it, he FLIPPED, he demanded the ring back and told me his mam "made him". i spiraled into a deep depression and became very withdrawn, after months of rock bottom i snapped, enough was enough, i asked for a "break", and got a date and a job within 2 days, id had enough of feeling not good enough we still see each other a couple of times a week.. but im also dating alot of other guys even though we are still in a relationship, (he has no idea).. i cant break ties with him because i love him, but im getting the affection i crave from the other guys .... what the heck am i doing? Link to comment
rosephase Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 You are being hurt, young and scared. Break up with him. The things you mentioned in the post border on abusive. You don't know what you want (depression, forced proposals, dating around) he isn't mature enough or willing enough ("don't tell anyone but we are engaged", treating you poorly)... I mean really why would you want to keep dating this guy? Get to know yourself. Get to know what you want. Learn to respect yourself so you can tell when someone else isn't. And dump him instead of dating around behind his back. That is going to make you the bad guy in all of this. His family loves you? They won't if they find that out. Link to comment
sammy6150 Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 sweeti you are 22, be free an do whatever u want, im 50 an trying to break free, at 22 i had the world by the balls an should have taken my fathers advise an never never get married......... now im not saying it was all bad, but i never wanted kids an shouldnt have gotton married... i believe marriage is for people who fall in love an what to start a family, i didnt want that, an i married for the wrong reason an i guess the wrong person, an if i meet the right person maybe i would have change my mind about kids. but there no turnning back the clock for me but u are 22, live , love an do whatever u want.... sam Link to comment
believelove Posted January 25, 2013 Author Share Posted January 25, 2013 Thank you for the reply, and most importantly the advice. Im exhausted trying to comprehend everything im doing, ive been so hurt, i guess its time to end it.. Link to comment
Lester Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 This "man" would be the worst husband on earth! In time, strict no contact will help you to remove your self-imposed “build-a-husband” goggles. Also, stop seeing other men! It’s an extension of your BaH issue. (You're manipulating youself not him!) Link to comment
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