Repairing and rebuilding.. I would so greatly appreciate your help.

[abysmal]

A girl whom I cared for very deeply once upon a time (late 2011 - early 2012) is reappearing back into my life, and for that I am grateful. A very brief backstory: we were very close as friends and I wanted to be more (you know the story), not because of a physical or intimate desire, but because I truly felt close to her on an emotional level in such a way that I have never felt before. She said that she wasn't interested in a relationship; she said perhaps later she may reconsider. As we spent more time together, my emotions fluctuated and I began to lose control of the situation, and thus our friendship nosedived and met its demise, sometime around April 2012. I missed her so but at the time let her know that I would no longer be in contact with her because I was unable to cope. We haven't spoken since. Last week I was surprised with a Facebook message from her wanting to check in and catch up (How've you been? How is school? I hope you are okay, etc.), and I politely proposed keeping in touch and getting together sometime, to which she was receptive. I told her that I was very sorry for how things ended and she said it was okay, that it was in the past.

 

I have matured since then, and my feelings have changed in the time I've looked back in retrospect. I cherish what we had, and if there is a lord and savior I know he must have blessed me with her presence in my life. I do not have the same intentions, and I know my boundaries and NEVER EVER EVER want to risk things with questioning "us" again. I am not needy with her - I only contact every few days or so - but I WAS needy at the time, which may have driven us apart. I love this girl in the most platonic sense, and I know without a doubt we can be friends as male and female. Say what you will or disagree but I believe it is possible. She has other guy friends as well.

 

I want to take things baby-step wise and cautious and I would just like to know two things.....

 

1) I've never had to repair something like this so how would you suggest I go about doing so without neediness? I want us to be close once again.

 

Then the big one.......

 

2) WHY did she contact me so suddenly and after all this time?

 

Thankyouthankyou so very much for your input.

[stuka80]

You're gushing over her man, its all over your post. You're not over her and lets assume that you are over her. You can't be that close to a woman without eventually developing feelings for her. You say you want a platonic relationship with her, and yet want her to be really close to you "like how it was", it's not gonna happen like that. I have a few close friends that i've known almost 20 years and we never had the drama that you seemed to have with her because there was a strict boundary between friendship and more than.