You probably see this type of thread a lot...

[Forrest99]

& I apologise for any dull reading. I really do!

I'm just a little stumped, confused and anxious. & I could do with something to keep my mind busy, a little reassurance, and a few bits and bobs of advice.

 

Basically; I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year and a half. We have an amazing relationship and I do love him. Much more than I've ever loved anyone.

 

Anyway, last October without any warning, and after acting normal, he told me he didn't love me anymore & that he wanted to end the relationship. I was heartbroken and completely shocked. I was also embarrassed for myself, as I had only earlier that day been telling a close friend of mine how things had been going so well and how happy I was. He told me he had been feeling as though he didn't love me for around a month prior to telling me so, and was anxious about telling me earlier; especially as I had recently started University and my cat had passed away.

 

A few days later however, he realised he had made a mistake and he wanted to get back with me. I was a little apprehensive of this, as I thought things may never get back to normal.. However; they did. & we've sincerely been happy since.

 

(He told me he had ended the relationship because he felt a little claustrophobic and stressed. I had become a little clingy and wanted to contact him much more than usual due to moving away from home and such, and he was struggling with work and trying to find a new job. Which I do understand).

 

ANYWAY; onto the problem.

I'm currently experiencing hormone problems (which stem from having a bone marrow transplant a few years ago). & these hormonal issues have caused me to become anxious and overly emotional. I've also been stressed with University and placements recently.

Anyway, my boyfriend came to see me over the weekend and as he was leaving I pretty much broken down and cried. I'm not entirely sure what made me cry, we'd had a lovely weekend together.. I just suddenly felt emotional (which I assume is due to the hormones).

I've also been contacting him a little too much and I've come to realise I've become clingy again.

 

My boyfriend is acting fairly normal towards me, but I have realised he is a little more withdrawn (this may just be the anxiety, I'm not sure). He has recently been busy with starting a new job, and I'm worried that I may have ruined things again and put pressure/stress onto him.

I'm scared that he may begin wondering as to whether he can cope with me going through clingy periods, and I'm worrying that he may end the relationship again...

 

What should be my next steps?

To simply become distant myself?

 

Would me becoming distant lead him to think I'm boring and that there is better out there?

 

Please help.

 

& I apologise for the waffling on!

[Natasha24]

I think when you've been together this long, doing the "distancing yourself" game won't help. If he really cares for you, he should be able to understand your anxiety and how it makes you act sometimes. Sit him down and have a conversation about it. "I know I've been a little clingy, but this is how I've been feeling lately." A relationship is a two-way street, and you shouldn't have to walk on eggshells out of fear that he'll dump you again.

 

In the meantime, have you thought about going to the doctor? I recently just went for anxiety and I was put on 2 medications. After only a few weeks, I feel so much better. Give this some thought as well.

[Forrest99]

I've been wondering whether to voice my concerns or not, but I've been a little wary of doing so incase it makes me look even more clingy Hm.

 

Oh I have an appointment booked with my GP to see about my anxiety and hormones! So here's hoping they'll sort me out with something.

[Ms Darcy]

IF you are going to talk to him about it, I would do it in the context of action. For example, tell him that you recognized that you cried and that you have or will consult with the GP. Just don't let it get to the place where you are asking him to be more supportive as THAT might come off as clingy.

 

It's ok to be emotional. Just do not to make him responsible for your feelings. Good luck!