Please beat me up....

[throwaway13]

I made my first actual phone call to my ex this morning (mistake #1) after seeing some jarring things on her Facebook last night (mistake #2). She's been completely silent since the breakup in late November (I was the reluctant dumper). Last week, I sent a long e-mail apologizing for things I did wrong in the relationship (another mistake), and I've texted her twice today asking her to please break this terrible silence. At this point, I know I've crossed the line.

 

Please kick the crap out of me and convince me that I don't need to hear from her, that it's ok to be ignored because she's my Ex, and that I'm not less of a person just because she doesn't seem to care anymore. I need it.

[MapleCanuck]

Hey man,

 

You dumped her and probably has some reason to. What was the main reason?

 

Also, no contact allows you to move on. Everyone handles it differently. I dumped my ex and asked for no contact. I slipped and sent a text once around the holidays. She never responded, which is more than her right to do.

 

I've accepted it's over and you have to also. I blocked my ex on Facebook and haven't changed that. I've deleted her number, emails, tossed away any pics of us, and defriended all her friends online. You should do the same.

 

It's natural to feel lonely we always focus on the good things as time passes. Why did you break up? What did you apologize for?

[throwaway13]

This thread has the whole story:

 

 

She did the ignoring thing over our summer breakup, and I was eventually able to get a response. I just don't want to put myself through that again, but I think I may have a compulsive problem with the ignoring.

[iamkaylee]

You don't NEED to hear from her, you just WANT to hear from her.

 

She is your EX. You are no longer a part of her life, nor her yours. This isn't ignoring, this is accepting reality the way it is and trying to move on. It is perfectly OK and what you should be doing.

 

No, you're not less of a person because she doesn't seem to care any more. You are the same person you've always been, just down in a funk right now.

 

Nope, not going to beat you up. You're doing a good enough job beating yourself up.

 

Remember, this too shall pass, healing is a process, not an event.

[Shadow415]

Why hold on to someone who is clearly demonstrating to you this: You are of little importance to me you do not deserve a response. Now that doesn't mean you are a bad person she just feels in her HEART that communicating with you is not in her best interest. I know it can be difficult I've been down that road... and it is very difficult but you need to stop with all this apologizing and contact because it will never end you will never have full closure there will always been something else you want to say. I believe you are still holding on to this FALSE hope of you to getting back together but at this point why would you. Yes as kaylee says THIS WILL PASS. STAND Strong MAN, your much better than this! Smile and laugh it off

[throwaway13]

Thanks all. I closed out the FB account and am starting the detox process. I've known the path I need to walk for a while. It's time to start my journey.