I just don't know. .

[ElectricRaijin]

I have the best friend anyone could ever ask for, but she is my ex girlfriend and things went sour between us, but now we are happy as Larry, best buddies and platonic soul mates. However, I've started to get feeling for her again and it started a month ago. I thought it was just a passing fancy because I'm a lesbian and the last relationship I had went sour, but I know that it isn't the case anymore. I started to get very excited when I saw her, and it is always fun when we hang together, but it got worse when one day I saw her after she finished work and I saw her boyfriend. . I got really depressed, and spent the night crying and trying to think of what to do or say. In the end I told her, everything. Told her not to worry because I won't do anything because I respect her and her partner. However, she told me she likes me too. . And now it's to the point where I feel like I'm stuck in a situation I cannot escape from.

 

She sends me romantic messages, which are sweet but they make me feel like I am going behind someone's back. She tells me her boyfriend isn't romantic at all and likes it when I remind her of how beautiful she is, but it sucks because nothing will happen.

 

Her partner had hurt her before, flirting with chicks who tried to break them up, using emotional black mail against her and trying to control certain things. I told her what I saw and she told me she wouldn't let him do it, but she does.

 

I spoke to a good friend about it, and they tells it's clear as day that I am just there to make her feel better when her partner can't. Friends do that, but this is beyond what I would do if I was dating somebody. It's confusing me. I've stopped flirting, stopped talking to her like that and I've been distant, hoping that the feeling will die and she will look at what she has with her boyfriend and decide if it is worth keeping or losing. She told me she could never cheat and I know this. I trust her, however, I'm not too sure how to feel after the possible reality of her using me to make herself feel better. .

 

She's a lovely soul and I truly love her, but I don't think I can be apart of this anymore. It's hurtful to me and the man she loves.

 

I need some advice. What should I do? I haven't spoken to my friend yet because I want to come up with the best plan of action. It's going up end in tears I think. Which is better then living in this lie.

 

Confusing I know, but I hope I can get out of this sooner or later.

 

Another problem is she gets jealous if I flirt with other girls, even if its just the friendly things I saw to others. . I don't know what to say to her when she gets like that.

 

She's not a selfish *****, she's really caring. I just don't know.

[DN]

Tell her the truth - that you are developing romantic feelings for her and can't be her friend, especially while she is with someone else.

[JJ2980]

She's being a tad selfish. Especially because of your history (ex-lovers) she should be more considerate of your feelings on the matter but then again she might not know that you're interested in her again. I would distance myself personally but its up to you.

[ElectricRaijin]

She knows I have romantic feelings for her, i told her that day I broke down. At first it was okay because we didn't talk much about it, but she keeps saying things to me that make me feel like there is a chance but then her boyfriend will do one romantic thing and I am back to square one.

 

I am distancing myself from her, keeping away from her for a while. I just need to tell her straight up that I cannot do this anymore. I will get rid of the feelings and stay being her friend. I know I can do it. I just need time.

 

Thank you guys for the support.

 

She is selfish, but I don't think she sees it.