Jump to content

Going through SO's phone


Recommended Posts

I was just wondering what everyone's take on it was?


I don't have a specific reason for asking. I just know that there are some people that don't like for their SO to go through their phone, not because they are hiding anything, but because they enjoy their privacy.


What has been everyone experience with this? Do you let them go through your phone? Do you get mad if they do, even if you have nothing to hide?

Link to comment

I've always let my boyfriends go through my phone and social networking sites because I've never had anything to hide. But I've been in the other end of it and found stuff that I wish I never saw. I think if your partner opens it up to you and allows you to that's fine but you shouldn't for example go through someone's phone at night when their sleeping and you're just trying to snoop.

Link to comment

sometimes when im driving Ill be like babe can you google the restaurant directions or can u get that call/or text for me..we both randomly do this for each other...i think its the fact they she never hides her phone from me..she never leave the room..she never acts weird...i do the same...i use her phone sometimes but i dont go through it just to look.



but yes i would get mad if she just randomly was looking at my phone snooping..my phone is also my work phone so i have a lot of stuff on there thats privacy business also..

Link to comment

I don't have anything to hide, but if a girl I was dating went through my phone without my permission that would really bother me and in all honesty, I'd probably dump her. I'd never even think about going through my SOs phone or trying to get into her facebook or anything like that. I feel it's a violation of privacy and a sign that you have no trust in me.


If my SO asked if she could go through my phone, I'd tell her no. If that's a problem, so be it. This shouldn't be something we have to do to so we can carry on being a couple.


Once again, nothing to hide, but I like my privacy, and I have conversations with friends that should be kept just between the friend and me.

Link to comment

It depends on the individual. People like privacy regardless, others don't mind this as long it's not snooping.

I'm the one that's known for privacy as one of my friends had said to someone else, "If she doesn't want to tell you, she's not."


However, even I'm lenient on phones. But I do have a phone lock on it. But a few people know my code. A friend or two knows it, and so does my SO. They don't go through my phone unless I ask my friend, or if my SO asked me. He usually does if he's mailing something to my phone that he can't to his and wants the info. He doesn't snoop. I can say that with 100% truth. He has high standards about loyalty and things like that so that won't bother us. I don't really use his phone except texting to a few of his friends/brother when he's driving. I find his phone awkward to use. But I never snooped, no point for me to. He even said he can read any of his messages if I wanted to, he just doesn't care.

Link to comment

My guy and I have total access to each other's phones. I don't think either of us has ever gone snooping, but that's probably because neither of us feels like we have to since we know that having permission to look means the other isn't hiding anything.


Actually, back when I was on a Droid that I hated, I used his iPhone more than he did. (I'm on iPhone now too.)

Link to comment

when I was 21, starting out with ex I felt I had a right to look at his phone/answer his calls

now, 28, holy crap, no I do not!

I never had anything to hide, would of let him look netime

he was cool about stuff like that until the last few months we dated.. he got really weird about it. turns out, he was pursuing another woman.

a person's phone is theirs. its their own private world in that phone. it shouldn't be an issue to hand over your phone & let your s.o. look around, but at same time, it is not

their right to do so.

Link to comment

I guess I have access to my husband's phone if I wanted it but I've never gone through his phone and he'd be surprised and possibly upset if I did even though he has nothing to hide -same in the reverse. If I'm on our computer and an email pops up for him sometimes I'll glance at the subject matter and tell him if it seems to need his immediate attention. If there's an email open on the screen I might glance at it. I'd prefer that he not go through my email without asking -he's never asked - I do like to have private "space" in the relationship. I have thought that in case of an emergency we should have each other's passwords but we don't.

Link to comment

You probably shouldn't, but at the same time, we probably shouldn't mind when they do look through it, if we have nothing to hide. My ex and I were very casual about our phones. We'd both leave them out and if we ever got a message, often we'd just ask each other to answer it if it was closer to them. One day she started being more protective of her phone and put a passcode on it (although she did tell me the passcode) so that set alarm bells off, so I snooped and found stuff that didn't incriminate her of cheating (I still don't think she did) but showed her to be lying to me.


A lot of people here would probably say I shouldn't have a trust issue like that, but I obviously had reason to.


It's a contentious issue here. Different people show guilt in different ways. You might think they're being shifty when they're not. You might think they're not being shifty when they are. If they have nothing to hide, then they shouldn't get TOO annoyed (it's only fair that they get a bit annoyed that you look without telling them though) and if they do have something to hide, then you're right to snoop.


Oh she did go through my phone a few times and I was indeed a wee bit annoyed that she'd looked, I ultimately didn't really mind all that much.

Link to comment

We never felt the need to go through each others phone, but we both know there's nothing to hide so we've never been secretive about our phones. We both have number passwords on our phones [for other people] but both know it, so that if we have to access something we can. We do use each others phone, if boredom occurs I will play games on his phone and vice versa. I have never gone through texts, or emails.

Maybe if his behaviour was shady concerning the phone?

Link to comment


This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Create New...