Male anorgasmia-I have difficulty ejaculating

[Cheezypantz]

Quick physical bio:

19, began masturbating at 12-in both prone and typical styles, furiously, began having sex at 16, also furiously. 6' 200 lbs (fluctuations between 180-220 since age 15, 200 current)

 

Now, I've read on link removed that pron masturbation can lead to detrimental chronic anorgasmia. It worried me a lot, at first. Then I noticed that the studies they were reporting were also saying that the people they studied ONLY masturbated prone, and thus had incredible difficulty or impossibility to cum from the typical masturbatory style (rosie palm and her five friends giving it a hug n tug). I have no issues with typical masturbation. I can actually control myself pretty well that way. If I decide to be quick about it, I can get the job done in under a minute or two, or I can drag it out for an hour or so if I have a lot of free time. Then it also says that men who masturbate prone have extreme difficulty reaching orgasm through oral sex. If I read this study with my first girlfriend I would have been worried-but it's not the case now. A blowie can polish me off in a minute if she knows what she's doing, five or six more if she's new. So there's that confusion as well. as far as her hand is concerned, it can get the job done, but nowhere near as quick as mine-at least 10 minutes. So with all of those methods apparently my **** is far out of whack (no pun intended).

With intercourse,though, it's a different situation. My last girlfriend had a really difficult time accepting that I wouldn't cum, so occasionally, when she had enormous amounts of energy, she'd ride it out. I've had many sexual partners, and I've only cum from intercourse with two of them, once with my first partner on a time she decided to wait it out and hope it didn't take too much longer (about 40 minutes) and 7 or 8 times with my most recent partner, ranging between 25 and 45 minutes to get there. It [cumming] has never occurred with a condom on (yes, I know, pregnancy and all that), but it's not entirely the jimmy's fault there, as I decided to test out my sensitivity by masturbating with it on several times-took a bit longer than normal, but it wasn't obscene (at least 5 minutes). I do seem to get to the verge a lot faster when the girl's on top, but it's still not a favorable time, the quickest I've ever cum from that was around 25 minutes, a while after it's done being pleasurable for her.

 

And before anybody asks the question, the frequency of my masturbation once I became sexually active has varied drastically, but seems to have very little effect on the situation. Before I became active, I'll admit, I was probably masturbating twice a day or more. Then, intermittently after I started having sex, I would flow from only masturbating 1-3 times per week (high times) to 2-4 times per day (low times). While I never phased out prone masturbation entirely in the short time period I've been sexually active, It has become increasingly rare with time. I probably only practice prone masturbation once every 10 times I do it nowadays.

 

Don't get me wrong, it's a blessing sometimes, when you're just trying to get laid, the girl having to finish you off with her mouth at least in my inference, drastically decrease the pregnancy risk with or without a condom (no I do not have sex with new women without a condom unless I'm certain they're current with their pills and are clean.), and she tells her friends you're a stud, so they want a go, too. The attention is nice in that regard, but when the issue strains my relationships it needs to be mended.

 

All of my ltr's have gotten frustrated with, they say, themselves because of the issue. Whether or not they're legitimately frustrated with themselves, or they just don't want to say they think it's my fault I'll never know. I like to think (opinion time) that it leads to the incredible amount of crazy and jealousy that develops with time in the relationship-perhaps they think I'm going to go somewhere else to get off "since they can't," even though I've told all of them after my first few sexual experiences that I've always had this problem.

 

I found that I was on the lower end of the 25-45 minute spectrum for cumming with my last girlfriend if I hadn't masturbated for 2-3 days before we had sex, that's something I plan to keep in mind for the future. I also plan to begin the exercises recommended on healthy strokes in order to stop my prone masturbation entirely, whether or not that was the issue at hand won't be decided until I have sex again after completing the 3 month ordeal-but I definitely don't want it to get worse. It's going to be hard not to have sex with the new girl, especially since she wants to start now, but I suppose it will be worth it if it will keep our intimacy strong from the get-go. I figured I'd give this forum a shot, to see if there are any guys, or girls with guys, with the same specificity that my condition has who can give me a few tips to help sort it.

 

I'm also posting this because I know one of my friends has the same issue, so obviously some other people out there need this help but may be too afraid to post about it-I'll be updating with my progress once I've sworn off prone masturbation definitively and had sex regularly again, in case these other guys want to know if it will work for them.

 

So now it's time to start not masturbating for a week or two.

 

Just to throw this in here-to ask if anyone else thinks it's normal, I'm rather fond of performing cunnilingus. The reasons I can give for why are that I enjoy the immediacy of the pleasure feedback I get from the girl, and I also (in most cases) enjoy the taste. Maybe I'm just weird?

[ExcitedtoSleep]

To me, your condition doesn't sound like too much of a problem. I think maybe you feel shame for masturbating frequently and now are self-conscious about a non-problem. An inability to cum inside your partner should not affect your ability to please your partner. I would perceive your condition to actually be an advantage because it greatly reduces your risk of getting your partner pregnant. In fact, I almost think you created this thread in order to stroke your ego. I'm saying this because that's what I would do if my self-esteem began to diminish and I needed a confidence boost.

[EQIQ]

I on the other hand think that when a man has trouble cumming from intercourse, something is wrong and needs to be addressed. I think it most likely is a psychological issue. Fear of pregnancy, or whatever else it is. Also just a matter of habit, you got used to feeling something, and intercourse feels different... Its like masturbating with your off hand, it feels weird at first.

 

I would just tell you to relax, stay off masturbation completely for a while, until you can consistently cum from intercourse in a reasonable amount of time.

[Cheezypantz]

To me, your condition doesn't sound like too much of a problem. I think maybe you feel shame for masturbating frequently and now are self-conscious about a non-problem. An inability to cum inside your partner should not affect your ability to please your partner. I would perceive your condition to actually be an advantage because it greatly reduces your risk of getting your partner pregnant. In fact, I almost think you created this thread in order to stroke your ego. I'm saying this because that's what I would do if my self-esteem began to diminish and I needed a confidence boost.

 

Yes, because someone looking to stroke their ego would go through the trouble of researching what's happening. The anorgasmia doesn't stop me from pleasing my partners, I never said that, but, rather, it may help explain my history of violently jealous girlfriends-because a few of them have outright said that it bothers them they can't get me there regardless of my saying I still enjoy everything/care deeply etc.

 

Back again to the self esteem comment: When I don't feel confident overall, it's usually because I'm not doing something well, whether it be schoolwork or shooting, and the hit drags into other parts of my life, but when I notice it I go and do things that I know I'm good at, not go onto an advice forum and seek out a resolution to something that I view as a major issue in my life. It may seem like I'm able to have copious fun now, but when I finally end up settled down and wanting kids in 10 years or so it will be an issue, since natural impregnation will be a chore stemming from my issue-and it's already a chore in itself since there's a lot of work that has to go into having a planned pregnancy.

I'd much rather eliminate what I view as a problem now than to deal with it later in life-or have to pay a doctor thousands of dollars to tell me essentially to jerk off into a turkey baster.

 

I on the other hand think that when a man has trouble cumming from intercourse, something is wrong and needs to be addressed. I think it most likely is a psychological issue. Fear of pregnancy, or whatever else it is. Also just a matter of habit, you got used to feeling something, and intercourse feels different... Its like masturbating with your off hand, it feels weird at first.

 

I would just tell you to relax, stay off masturbation completely for a while, until you can consistently cum from intercourse in a reasonable amount of time.

 

Thank you for your input, I will take that into consideration. I tend to have a distant though during intercourse, I can never really understand or see what it is, as though I'm trying to remember something but simply can't. It divides my attention. While it may contribute to the problem, I do not think it is the root cause, as I do not have this feeling every time I have intercourse.

[ConservativeM]

I had a close friend who had almost same type of problem. He learned the masturbation by own and that was prone position. At the age of 20, he came to know about typical masturbation style as we were habituated. When he tried the typical style, it was impossible for him to ejaculate whereas in prone position, he could finish within no time. Just opposite to that, for me, i can not ejaculate in prone style at all. I can ejaculate within 2 minutes if i try in typical masturbation style.

I think you habits matter a lot.

The other problem of delayed ejaculation. I feel your orgasm should be synchronized with your girlfriend orgasm. Anyone loose interest in sex after orgasm and if you continue even after your partner orgasm, it is difficult for her to sustain. Generally it use to easy for the male to ejaculate and male always waits for their partner orgasm and as soon as she orgasm, male can ejaculate immediately.

In your case it sound just opposite. I suggest you to request your girlfriend to control her orgasm as long as possible if there is any technique for her like males do practice. Your girlfriend need to learn the ways to control her orgasm. The fellow female forum member can suggest how to delay the orgasm by females.