A Crush From Opposite Ends of The World...Confused!

[tuatara]

I'm a 26yr New Zealander.

 

3 months ago (October) I met a dutch girl while I was travelling in Amsterdam. We met 5 days before I had to leave back to New Zealand. We hung out for everyone of those 5 days. It was great.

 

After a few weeks of keeping up contact via skype. We decided to spontaneously book a holiday in Thailand (for 11 days over the New Years people). Just her and I. Crazy to some but it made sense.

 

Neither of us knew what would happen. We didnt lay any expectations on each other.

 

Around November, early December we lost a bit of contact. I could tell things weren't right. She started dating some guy. We talked about it, and since we already had everything booked for the trip, we decided to go on the trip anyway. She told her guy, he wasn't happy but, they were only dating for a few weeks by then so it didn't seen reasonable to cancel it all.

 

I just got back from the trip today. We spent 11 days around Thailand, we both had an amazing time. We didn't kiss or get up to any sexy business. Even though I have a feeling on both parts there was tension there.

 

She is now off to Nigeria for work for 3 months (comes back to amsterdam every 2 weeks or so for a week). Then after 6 months she is off to Singapore for a year.

 

I like this girl a lot, but am not sure what to do. She made it clear before the trip that she wanted to give the dutch guy a fair chance. However I have a feeling that I might have taken a piece of her heart after the trip. Which leaves both her and I in confusing positions.

 

I have a job that allows me to work wherever there is internet. I like her so much that I'm worried that if I spill my heart out it might scare her off.

 

Do I make a firm move and tell her how I feel. Or do I play it cool and wait it out?

[appies]

I think telling her you would move accross the world for her is a bit much and would scare her off.

[JJ2980]

Kia ora. I'm a kiwi too - but living in Oz. I know you spent 5 amazing days together and then another 11 days but I agree with the previous poster. Wrong place, wrong time. If she had felt as strongly about you as you did about her then she wouldn't have gone back home and found a bf pretty much straight away. I know the chemistry for you would've been off the chart otherwise you wouldn't be asking for advice but you don't want to frighten the poor girl.lol. Who knows - maybe down the track you two might be able to reconnect. In the meantime my suggestion would be to just keep her as a friend.

 

Btw how cool is it that you have a job that can allow you to live anywhere just as long as you have an internet connection? Jealous much!!!...lol

[ballerinababe]

Yeah, I am sorry to say but if I were into a guy and we went on holiday together for 11 days I wouldn't have let all that time go by without showing some physical affection. It sounds like she isn't keen on pursuing anything romantic with you. Did she ever reveal any of her feelings for you? How long do you plan to wait it out? Until things fall apart with the new Dutch guy? And then what? If she was that excited about you she wouldn't have gotten involved with someone else in between your first and second meetings. I think it's time to move on. I'm sorry!

[tuatara]

@ballerinababe I know everyone says if they were a guy, they would of made a move. I guess two things for me made me not do it.

 

1. It would of been hell/awkward for the rest of the trip if I made a move and things didnt work out to plan.

2. Her morals are extremely high so I think even if she was interested she would felt too guilty about it all without breaking things off with the other guy first.

 

After the first half of the trip she got pretty touchy feely. She was holding my hand, snuggling up to me when I was lying in bed. Just before she left for the taxi on the last day, she was lying on the bed with me, kissing me on the cheek, nearly lying on the top of me, looking me in the eyes for what seemed forever.

 

It got really tough. Why didn't I make a move? I just like her so much I didn't want **** things up.

 

Well I guess what keeps my hopes up. Is she got into a new relationship nearly 3 months after we met up for 5 nights. Even I wasn't bothered about it all, I thought she was cool but just knew it was impossible to happen. But after the trip things change, I thought things changed a bit for her too, but I could be wrong.

 

Maybe I'm looking at things through rose colored glasses.

[tuatara]

Would love to get some more feedback on this.

[erzerum7]

I think she showed her lack of commitment by starting to date someone else even after you guys had booked the trip to Thailand. If I were in her shoes, and I was planning a 10+ day vacation with someone I really liked, that would be all I could think of - I would have no energy or interest in casually dating someone else. And she confirms this AFTER the vacation by continuing to want to date the other guy.

 

Sorry to say it, but that's how it is.