dirtbubble Posted October 28, 2004 Share Posted October 28, 2004 This also is not a poem I decided today like yesterday and the day before Not to commit suicide today or tomorrow or any day after Good to feel like I know How I will feel about it later I wish I could reach into every one of you Make you know what I know About life and truth I am deluded enough To imagine my knowledge is valuable (Although I have not converted it into everlasting joy) But I have to erase myself again from formal memory This forum is not for me After all Because I cannot be consoled My solitude is ineffable I am alone and you all have helped prove that I can only thank you You will know how I feel one day One day all of you will join my forum Every word silenced Deleted Lost Forgotten This forum is for the heartbroken Confused Consolable And advice is tolerated Only from those who show no evidence of fault Like Jesus They have no sin Or they are too young to have sinned To have had relevant, first-hand experience To have looked their own failings in the face And told the truth to themselves About what they see I am vulnerable I have made many mistakes My mistakes include loving the wrong people too much Over-committing Leaving at the wrong time Not committing Caring too much about the tears of a lover Not caring enough Being too slow Too fast Favoring a dishonest lover over an honest friend thereforeeee you are best advised To ignore my advice My mistakes do not include taking drugs If anyone thought that based on what I wrote They display an inability to read and think critically Not my fault Some of you young people will finally know one day What it is to have made really bad decisions Based on your best intentions and understanding To have the consequences chase you until you collapse in the street And understand that life is not fair God's perfect plan for us is beyond our feeble ability to comprehend or appreciate Goodbye again Quote Link to comment
sisterlynch Posted October 28, 2004 Share Posted October 28, 2004 I would look into anti depressants if I were you. They wont make the money situation go away, but you could maybe worry about it less. It seems like you have trouble restraining yourself and do what you can to make your life interesting at the moment, but then you end up paying for the problem later and you don't seem to learn the lesson of the moment until it is too late. If you are already depressed I don't think the marijuana is going to help at all. That can make you even more risky. Are you seeking therapy as an outlet? Quote Link to comment
GrayBlueEyes Posted October 28, 2004 Share Posted October 28, 2004 Hi dirtbubble...glad you came back. I agree with the above reply. Therapy and antidepressants may be a good first step. All your other issues will be impossible to deal with until you get a grip on the depression. I'm sorry if I offended you in your last thread, regarding the victim thing. It was only meant as an observation, not like I was pointing the finger and saying "Oh, stop whining". Ok? Please write again and feel free to PM me. Quote Link to comment
Jitrenda Posted October 28, 2004 Share Posted October 28, 2004 Hello there Bubble! You say you are having some money troubles...if you owe a lot of money...maybe going to a creditor who can consolidate all your debts into an affordable monthly payment, might help. My husband did that and it has helped him out a lot. And if the debt ratio is so bad....maybe bankruptcy? You don't have to do this at all...but it would help your financial troubles. And then you could afford rent and all the cool stuff...have some extra money for yourself...that is if your debt is all credit cards and loans and such. It's just an idea is all... *hugs* jitrenda Quote Link to comment
dirtbubble Posted October 28, 2004 Author Share Posted October 28, 2004 This also is not a poem I decided today like yesterday and the day before Not to commit suicide today or tomorrow or any day after Good to feel like I know How I will feel about it later I wish I could reach into every one of you Make you know what I know About life and truth I am deluded enough To imagine my knowledge is valuable (Although I have not converted it into everlasting joy) But I have to erase myself again from formal memory This forum is not for me After all Because I cannot be consoled My solitude is ineffable I am alone and you all have helped prove that I can only thank you You will know how I feel one day One day all of you will join my forum Every word silenced Deleted Lost Forgotten This forum is for the heartbroken Confused Consolable And advice is tolerated Only from those who show no evidence of fault Like Jesus They have no sin Or they are too young to have sinned To have had relevant, first-hand experience To have looked their own failings in the face And told the truth to themselves About what they see I am vulnerable I have made many mistakes My mistakes include loving the wrong people too much Over-committing Leaving at the wrong time Not committing Caring too much about the tears of a lover Not caring enough Being too slow Too fast Favoring a dishonest lover over an honest friend thereforeeee you are best advised To ignore my advice My mistakes do not include taking drugs If anyone thought that based on what I wrote They display an inability to read and think critically Not my fault Some of you young people will finally know one day What it is to have made really bad decisions Based on your best intentions and understanding To have the consequences chase you until you collapse in the street And understand that life is not fair God's perfect plan for us is beyond our feeble ability to comprehend or appreciate Goodbye again Quote Link to comment
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